Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)By the time this post is up, I'll be on the road with Ari making the 8+ hour trip back to Duke. I'm not going to say that we're going to be listening to the Glee soundtrack* and Bad Romance on repeat, but I sort of just did.
Our post from this week:
#1
Recently I've been thinking about how I can be moral and gay. Let me preface this quickly (since this is an anonymous post an you have no idea where I'm coming from)-that I'm gay and I understand being gay is inherently good.
But morality in terms of gay relationships is not as cut and dry as heterosexual ones. I recognize that because we are not heterosexual, a lot of the heterosexual rules got thrown out the window after Stonewall...but sometimes I wonder if a lot of the moral ideas also got thrown out the window. I am trying to figure out how morality can play out in my gay relationships. The gay joke is always "what 2nd date?" While funny, it kind of makes me cringe. At what point is sex in a relationship chaste and respectful? How can I look at same-gender attractive people in a way that doesn't objectify them? How should I approach my LGBT relationships with a sense of common humanity?
I get angry about this problem because so many religions take the easy way out and just label the whole LGBT lifestyle as immoral. We all know this isn't right. So I'm wondering how other gay people my age take this. Duke doesn't give me a lesson in gay relationship morality. Religion doesn't either. So I'm trying to navigate this question on my own. It's not really a popular one though, in college, but that doesn't make it any less important. So my question for this community is...How are you gay and moral at Duke?
[Ed. Note: Good question, #1. I have a feeling you're going to get quite a few responses on this one. Hopefully The Readers can provide some effective guidance :)]
*You should see us during "Don't Rain on My Parade." Ugh, but can we talk about how Ari is obsessed with the It's My Life/Confessions mash-up? I'd prefer to skip it, but he insists on me playing it over and over. And because it's his car, I must oblige. But it is my iPod and more importantly this song is one of the weakest to come from the show. I would like some empathy on this. Wait, can I just
#2
My friend "CARrIe Bradshaw" is obsessed with the It's My Life/Confessions mash-up. I'd prefer to skip it, but he insists on me playing it over and over. And because it's his car, I must oblige. But it is my iPod and more importantly this song is one of the weakest to come from the show. I would like some empathy on this.
[Ed. Note: Your friend has no taste and you seem like a handsome, awesome person who has an ear for good music.]
Posts
4 comments:
Oh, I see what you did there...
You can't always get what you want :)!!!
Sex without love (note: love not mere infatuation) is immoral. Period.
#1:
Okay. I've done a lot of thinking about this, and while I probably don't have the best answer, I've at least wrapped my head (I think) around the breadth of your question.
While I immediately agreed with your assertion that hetero ideals got trashed, after a little more thought I wonder why it has to be that way? Chaste is a reference to extramarital sex, which obviously is all that most of us can, um, participate in these days. However! This does not mean that it cannot be respectful. Just as, though, I believe that heterosex (is that a thing? That is not a thing) can be respectful extramaritally as well. I think we're kind of in the same boat with them on this one and wouldn't be too quick to draw a line. I don't think that anyone can outline The Criteria For Respectful Sex , but I think that for most it's kind of a visceral thing. It is personal for everyone.
The above anonymous comment is a very blanket statement that I'm hesitant to agree with. Maybe for you, Anonymous! But I think that in 2010 we have made enough progress to recognize that issues like this aren't so black and white. Also, I mean, we are animals, still. Just saying! I sincerely doubt that we can attribute LOVE to every sexual act in Nature. But ugh. Does that make it moral/Moral? I guess I'd say so, if only because that proves we're wired this way. Must we smite people who just have sex because it feels good?
I feel the same way about the second half of this question, about LGBT friendships with attractive people. Sexual tension is unavoidable. It occurs in heterosexual relationships, too! A straight guy and girl aren't going to just chill all the time and NEVER have it cross their minds. It may happen in the LGBT community more, just because, listen. It's an unavoidable fact that the numbers aren't in our favor! At any point, it is just about possible to name every out gay person at Duke. This is a completely un-PC statement that is Chris Perry the random guy speaking and not Chris Perry the editor of this blog, so don't take my word as something official or whatever. Anyhow! This is not testament to there not being many out gays at Duke because trust me, there are. But there is no way that one person could even come close to naming all of the straight people on campus. My point is that when you meet a new LGBT person, it's a big deal! Considering the pool, this person represents a pretty decent *percentage* increase in the number of potential partner.
/ramble
Post a Comment