Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)Not much to say, y'all. I'm home (!) and getting ready to head down to Duke in a week and a half. Getting in as many bagels and pizza slices as possible.
Also! Our good friend Swapanthi emailed in and alerted Us of the National Organization for Marriage rally in Raleigh tomorrow from 12-1. They are so much so The Worst (remember this gem?) and at a lot of the stops along their NOM MARRIAGE BUS TOUR 2010, counter-protesters have staged awesome parades, etc. I've been checking up with the NOM Tour Trackers throughout - scroll through the posts to find some awesome footage.
Anyway! Posts for this week!
#1
I was outed last weekend for the first time. A text came at 3 AM telling me, "i'm so so sorry but I told ------ and -------- about you. I didn't mean to and I understand if you never want to talk to me again. Please forgive me." Had this text come about 6 months ago, I would have been completely terrified of the results. My friend told two people from my small hometown where a friendly attitude towards the LGBT community doesn't really exist- and this is a place where news spreads like wildfire. Thankfully over the past several months I've become, day by day, more and more comfortable with my sexuality and more and more comfortable with others knowing. That being said, I still strongly believe that it's not anyone's place to divulge information on other's sexual preferences. Forgiving this long-time friend was easy, but I'm still quite a bit frustrated at the fact that it happened. Should I not be? When I told my close friends, should I just have assumed that it would slip at some point?
#2
I check my ex's facebook almost every week. I'd never take her back, but I'm afraid I won't ever get over her.
#3
Sometimes I just tell myself that my future girlfriend is just in in my next class, the upcoming hallway or at tomorrow's social event. I tell myself that we're just hours or seconds away from finally meeting each other. But my biggest fear is not that I won't meet her, but that I won't recognize her. I'm afraid she'll end up being so deep into the closet that I won't know her when I see her.
#4
It sucks that so many things in my head are so tangled: sexual orientation, trust issues, intimacy issues, sexuality in general, bodily integrity and imbalanced hormones, my medications...I just want to understand what's going on in my body and in my head and for it all to work correctly.
#5
“One has not only an ability to perceive the world but an ability to alter one's perception of it; more simply, one can change things by the manner in which one looks at them.”
This week in California, a judge struck down Prop 8 as unconstitutional. Great news. Unfortunately, not everyone sees it as such. To me, marriage for all is a fundamental right. But my ethos is kinda shot in this rhetoric as a gay guy fighting for gay rights. Regardless, it seems logically right to eliminate discrimination by sexual orientation. There are so many, however, that do not perceive this topic similarly. So many people are so stubborn in their beliefs that gay marriage is immoral. But I must say, I am just as stubborn in my belief; and of course, I see myself as correct. But am I? More importantly, is there a right answer? Is there truth? As the quote asserts, everything in the world is what we make of it. Truth changes as our perceptions of it change. Our society today perceives itself as being more “advanced” than previous societies. Such as the truth American society once believed that it was morally acceptable to enslave blacks. That blacks were biologically subservient to whites. Contemporary society has progressed past this “truth.” But what are we progressing toward? Is there some ultimate, universal truth waiting to be reached? I don’t think so. Societies’ truths will be ever changing, or “progressing”. No absolute truth can be achieved, as no absolute truth exists. The ideals, emotions, and logic of each individual are concomitant with one’s perceptions of the world, not of an absolute truth imposed by the world. So for this debate concerning gays and gay marriage, can I really believe I am right? If there is no truth, then there is no wrong. But there is. Those opposing gay marriage are wrong. This is of course according to my perceptions. So if I have deconstructed the idea that there is a truth/the right answer, then what is left? Just us. Ourselves, our society, and our perceptions of the world. We are doomed as a society and as a race to transient truths and to logically based but emotionally driven perceptions. But I do believe (hope?) we are progressing (slowly) as a society to creating a truth that homosexuality is neither immoral nor unnatural. I guess there's no palpable point to this post other than the idea we see and understand things not as they are but as we are.
-Alec
Posts
12 comments:
#5: This will sound super cliche, but acceptance is truth. It's the only truth. So keep on loving everyone with all the stubbornness you got :)
To #1:
I'm sorry to hear what happened - I think you definitely have the right to be frustrated and it's quite understandable considering your situation. I was outed by a person I thought I could trust in my last year of high school and I remember feeling much the way you do - hurt and frustrated. Expecting it to happen doesn't lessen the blow much either. It's my belief that when something's told in trust, it should stay that way.
That being said, I'm glad that you feel comfortable with yourself - that's commendable and takes a lot of courage, especially coming from a small town environment. Good luck with dealing with the fallout and know that you're incredibly strong for having come this far already.
#3: Be proactive! Don't just wait around, go out to some lesbian clubs and getchu some. There's a great club called "Blue Steele" on Miami Boulevard.
-MP
#2: Truth. It's fucked up because he cheated on me for at least a month before he broke up with me after dating for a very, very long time. While I worry that I won't get over him, either, I've found that the best thing for me to do is block him from my newsfeed, etc. Visiting his profile was just not healthy and not doing me any good. Like, nothing positive can come from it. Unless his status one day is like, "I just had someone lie and cheat on me after dating for a very, very long time and I now understand what a piece of garbage I was being and how that feels," it's only going to make it worse. Out of sight, out of mind, though this won't work back on campus, is how I'm approaching this for as long as I can.
Have you ever been to Steele Blue? I wouldn't advise a young queer woman to go there unless the Vagina Monologues is being performed. But I agree with the sentiment that the poster needs to go out there, though not just to "get some." In addition to a gay club I would suggest that the poster go to the Center or a Women Loving Women meeting. No random closeted girl will ever go up to you- either go up to them or find an out girl to play with.
#4 - I wonder if you've thought of meeting up with Janie Long at the Center, or maybe talking to someone at CAPS? I know we've mentioned them both before on the blog, but it sounds to me like you're looking to talk to somebody with some expertise, and I think they could definitely help you out, or at least point you in the right direction. Just as a sidenote though-I don't really think there is anyone who ever has it all (sexuality, gender, body, etc!) perfectly figured out themselves either. Hope you find some guidance. =)
Veronica! I have been to Steele Blue, and I met tons of awesome queer women. Also, there's nothing wrong with a little hook-up now and then.
-MP
*fourteenth amendment,i guess.
embarrassed by my spelling. the things i do for love. --bdc
MP-
Are you woman-identified? Then we need to chat about your positive experience at Steele Blue? If you're male-identified, I'm glad you had fun, but you won't be changing my mind.
I came off harsher than I intended when it came to "getting some." I have no problem with hooks up now and then, or even all the time. But The OP said she was looking for a girlfriend, not a hook-up. I would caution someone against *just* going to clubs or looking for hook-ups if they're really in search of a relationship.
#2 - This is why Facebook invented the unfriend button (or at least the hide from newsfeed button). Use it, it'll make your life so much easier. I know it has for mine. In the real world no one expects you to be friends with your ex, so why must you in the online world.
err. Not to say that I believe everything my ex-girlfriend says. I didn't at the time. But (let's see...) 16? dates later, I'm certainly no closer. Just more experienced.
She is always right, though, in retrospect :D
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