[Note: Reply and add your own ideas to the list!]Wow, so freshman orientation starts in less than 2 weeks! I remember that crazy-hot week like it was yesterday. If you're an incoming student, and you are anything like me, you're really excited, super nervous and generally unsure of what college is "really" like.
So, I don't even pretend to have college figured out (just ask my Physics 54L professor), but I wanted to come up with a short list of the things that I wish I would have known as an incoming student and lesbian woman. (I'm not sure I would have even listened to this at the time, but it would have helped.)
10 things I wish I would have known coming to Duke as a freshwoman (LGBTQA style):
10. Being out on campus from the very beginning might have been a lot easier (than coming out two years later).
9. Going to the LGBT Center does not automatically define or label you one way or the other. Going to the LGBT Center means you are going to the LGBT Center.
8. People in college are generally more liberal and accepting than the people back home.
7. Taking a LGBTQ-studies class won’t help you find a date (well, it didn’t help this author at any rate), but it can help you feel more comfortable about talking about sexuality in general. The same would go for a Women's Studies or Sexuality course. (The class is Psych 143S: "Clincal Issues in LGBTQ" taught in the spring, in case you're interested!)
6. Going to CAPS to talk about being LGBT might just be one of the best decisions you make.
5. The North Carolina LGBT Pride march happens off of Duke's East campus September 25th.
4. Straight allies can be just as active in the LGBT Center as those who identify as queer (sometimes more active!).
3. The world doesn't explode when you walk through the Center doors, and black holes don't suddenly appear. Also (this refers to me, maybe not the reader), you're really not that interesting, so crowds of people aren't watching you enter either.
1. Coming out on Facebook is a great decision if you’re up for it. Just block your Aunt/Uncle/Cousin/Grandmother/other family-you’re-not-out-to-yet, and tell them college got “too hard” to keep up with Facebook. (College life and home life intersect in a weird way on the internet sometimes.)
And... the one thing I wouldn't have bothered to tell myself, because I know I had to learn this on my own, and in my own way:
0. No one here (who is anybody) really cares.
About, well, you know.
And... the one thing I wouldn't have bothered to tell myself, because I know I had to learn this on my own, and in my own way:
0. No one here (who is anybody) really cares.
About, well, you know.
Posts
8 comments:
About # 6...my understanding is that some of the staff at CAPS are great and some are not. Talk with Janie Long, and she can help you figure out who might be a good fit for you!
I think I'd add onto that ^ and say it is also a matter of fit. "One person's great counselor is a another person's garbage" or something. For the record, I had a good experience with Gary Glass, but I know at least one other person who didn't meld with him. As tiring as it may be, one shouldn't ever hesitate to shop around for someone that works for them.
Anonymous-I actually third this. My counselor was "Kelly Crace", and he was super awesome. I mentioned before I went in that I wanted to talk about things revolving around LGBTQ, so they may have paired me with him with that in mind!
I agree with Chris it's all about fit and even the most friendly or knowledgeable person may not fit with me. CAPS uses a rotation unless a special request is made so I doubt they purposefully paired you with someone, Megan. It's good that your therapist was a good fit for you! The other good news is if you see someone, and they don't fit, you can ask for a transfer. I also sought out Janie who helped me pick someone she knew was knowledgeable and who she thought would work with me. She also assured me I could switch if it didn't work out for me. In the end, the excellent point Megan is making is seek help if you want or need it!
Can I also add:
Having a queer bff is far better than having a bf. I wish I had spent more time freshman year focusing on boys as friends instead of lovers.
Also, Summer, unfortunately the LGBT Discussion Group no longer exists in that form. Janie still holds office hours on East once a week for students who need someone to talk too(best resource ever!!!!!). There will be a slightly revamped confidential discussion group though that is going to be equally awesome, look for it soon when the semester calendar is released.
great list megan! thanks for sharing :) i like #4 and 7 :)
All I have to say is, #0.
this is really awesome and well thought out!!!
freshmen: DON't FORGET #0!!! as someone who loves the lgbt community at duke but whose primary social networks are far removed from other gay/queer people, don't underestimate the accepting nature of most duke students. while im sure others have had bad experiences, ive never felt anything but accepted by anyone ive met at duke -- and for me, that included some pretty surprising people, from deeply religious conservative christians to mainstream greek/frat life. keep an open mind, be proud of who you are, and just... be you! dont limit yourself...
Post a Comment