Anonymous Posts (6.14.10-6.20.10)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

What an epic weekend, y'all. Michelle and I drove down to Duke to pay our respects say goodbye to Chris Purcell on his last day. As depressing as this may be, though, it was an awesome trip and I saw Everybody That I Need To See In My Life Right Now. Sitting around the Center with Janie, Megan, Jack, Chris, Justin, Summer, Peg and Mish was probably one of the best parts of my summer so far. I know I've said it before, but I'm SO excited for this Community next semester. Especially since I've resolved that We are going to spend every weekend at Summer's place after excursions to pick various fruits (no pun intended (pun intended)). As JH said, we should do more "beautiful things" in our lives.

I also saw the incomparable co-presidents of UNC's GLBTSA, Billy Kluttz and Alex Kilkka. The LGBT retreat dates have been set for the fall, and it sounds like it might top last year's? Maybe? That would be a very difficult thing to do and we cannot really expect that, considering last year was The Greatest Time. So many hugs. But it really does seem that we'll see unprecedented collaboration among the Triangle schools' (and maybe more!) LGBT communities. Let's do this, Everybody.

In other news, Womyn, Duke's new queer women magazine, is taking applications this week for their review board. The application can be downloaded here, and We should all fill it out. Also, actual written submissions will be accepted beginning July 1st. Think they'll accept a sonnet about Summer Puente? Because I'm sort of banking on it.

Okokok. Anonymous posts.

#1
I love Pride.
It's the only time,space, place where I feel COMPLETELY accepted, loved, embraced. And there's so much overflowing community it's overwhelming. But in an amazing way.

On another note, I think it's the only time when people read me as queer. Which is so rare I'm not used ot it. that I don't know how I feel about it..proud, but a little disoriented? Maybe I should wear a rainbow pin or bracelet to try it out how it feels in the real world? Or is that totally unnecessary to try out?...

#2
"Call me wen u can."

That's all my sister's text said. She has never asked me to call her. She always tries to minimize the contact between us, seeing as though our relationship is anything but friendly.

"She knows."

That's what went through my mind. Repeatedly. Relentlessly. I was an emotional mess and I didn't know what I was going to do. Oddly enough, the fact that I didn't know what to do is a big step from where I was before coming to Duke. Had it been last year, before my freshman year started, I would have prepared myself to outright deny anything that would label me as being gay. Not today. I actually considered just giving in and finally letting go of the secret that has bound and silenced me for eighteen years.

While putting off the inevitable, I thought about everything that could happen. Being kicked out, being rejected by every single family member, losing those I love. These situations are the most extreme; I have no substantial proof to neither quell nor confirm these outcomes. But being at Duke has changed me. I have grown tired of the facade I wear back at home. Here at Duke I don't have to pay attention to every single detail, details that could somehow lead to suspicion, suspicions that could lead to accusations. I have weighed the pros and cons in regards to coming out. Unfortunately, for many reasons, legitimate or not, I decided against coming out this summer. Call it cowardice, call it fear, call it insecurity. Heck, maybe those are accurate, but I do know that I am not quite ready yet. But I digress.

After failing to calm myself I managed to call my sister. Each second waiting for her to answer the phone allowed my mind to think of every negative outcome. I felt relieved after listening to her voicemail message, but I knew it wasn't over. A couple minutes later she called me back and I asked myself I could answer. I did. Long story short, it had nothing to do with me being gay. You'd think I let out a huge sigh of relief and laughed about it after hanging up. I didn't. In fact, I felt even worse. The reasons? I thought about how unfair society is. How people live their lives tormented by a secret. Why people even have to go through all this. This story may or may not have significance, but I'll share it anyways. I wish I didn't have to post it as an anon, but it's best that way.

I couldn't bring myself to hit done. Rob. Vague enough for the world outside of Duke, but personal enough for my community. Now I can hit done.

#3
I went back and forth debating whether or not to send this anonymous post in, but in the end I figure I might as well- I've GOT to get these thoughts out!! So i'm taking summer school at UNC, and sometimes i'll see other lesbians around campus. Well, I think they're gay but of course I can't be 100% sure. :) anyways, I really wanted to meet someone this summer. I have so much extra time on my hands and I'd love to just take someone out to dinner or something, maybe start something up, but i have no CLUE how to go about meeting someone.

argh, frustration.

alrighty, done venting for now :)

Anonymous Posts (5.24.10-5.30.10)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

Glee was kind of whatever tonight, Readers. #amiright? Schuester is The Worst and his plot line continues to be tedious, uninteresting and as of tonight very ?. What, exactly, was he doing to Sue? Is that something that adults who are ADULTS do? Is that even what a protagonist does? It was not even necessary to break that large trophy. That was a kind of an impetuous and childish thing to do. He should meet up with a teacher at the school that can teach him sentences. And then he can use those, instead of slow clapping and devil-hornsing to communicate his awfulness.

I hate so much about the things that he chooses to be.

Also, do not say that white women cannot have soul and then have a white woman not have soul. That is not how to prove that! It is the opposite, really, of how to prove that. As Chris Purcell, The Greatest, points out, they probably should have just replayed this.

Anyhow! /rant. There are anonymous posts to be read! I see you, UNC!

#1

Please sign this petition in support of the asylum application of Iranian LGBT film director, Kiana Firouz. Her application was recently rejected and she risks deportation to Iran, where her homosexuality is condemned. Thank you.

http://www.petitiononline.com/kianaf/petition.html

#2

My first year of college had its ups and downs- at the start of the first semester, I hadn't come out to anyone but my mom. That's how it was until late September- when I realized that the anxiety I was feeling was directly related to the fact that I felt completely trapped. I spent long hours on the phone talking with my mom about how I felt such a strong need to come out but was simply terrified. I explained to her that I couldn't make friends for fear of judgement. I wanted to meet people who would just accept my sexuality, and that would be that. At this point, I had no idea just how open-minded my campus was, overall. Through my own fear of judgement, I was pre-judging the student body, which I'm sure kept me from forming some great friendships earlier on.

On October 1st, 2009, I went to UNC's LGBT center to talk to a counselor about my fears of coming out to my close friends and family, and how important it was for me to tell them. This was one of the best decisions I've made, I believe, in my life. Simply expressing my feelings to someone other than my mother for the first time gave me the courage to start the coming out process. I was met with nothing but acceptance and support over the next few months, and will forever be grateful and thankful for that. Second semester, once scheduling conflicts went away, I was able to get more involved with the LGBT community and events on campus. I was able to formulate the friendships I was longing for first semester, both inside and outside the LGBT community- no longer lacking that confidence I had lost after high school and no longer feeling as though I was carrying a burden.

Somewhere throughout my initial coming out process, my sister said to me- "Don't be so quick to judge the openness of others. You may be surprised."

She was right.

We Want You

Hey readers,

I hope you’ve all had a relaxing winter break, whatever you’ve been up to and wherever you’ve spent it. This post is to let everyone know about an exciting event coming up for the triangle area LGBTQA community this spring semester, something that I hope you’ll all be interested in participating in.

The weekend of February 12-14 will see the first Spring LGBT and Ally retreat held at Campus Chestnut Ridge in Efland, North Carolina. Any student from Duke, UNC and NCSU is warmly invited to attend.

You may be wondering what a retreat like this entails and what sorts of activities are planned. Essentially, this retreat is about empowering students and building a sense of community. We want to help foster leaders on each campus and strengthen the ties between the LGBTQA students of the three colleges. To that end, we have a variety of awesome programming planned, including a low-ropes course, a hayride and numerous team-building group activities, facilitated by the staff of each of the LGBT centers. The philosophy behind this retreat is that we can accomplish more through collaboration, networking, pooling resources and co-hosting events. To this end, we want to bring students from the three colleges together and facilitate this cooperation. Our ultimate goals are to build a stronger LGBTQA community and to equip students with confidence and identity.

We want your help to make this retreat the best it possibly can be. We truly hope that students will feel invested in the retreat and excited about the possibilities. We’ve already spoken with a number of students about this, but what we really want are your comments, thoughts and ideas. What would truly make this retreat amazing for you? What would you hope to get out of it? What issues and activities do you think absolutely need to be included in the weekend? Is there something that you’ve participated in some other event like this that really worked well? We really value your feedback – though we already have the basic activities framework for the weekend, what we’re looking for now is what you, the community hope to gain from this event. All feedback is welcome, either through the comments section at the bottom of this article, or through emailing Alex Kilkka kilkka@email.unc.edu or me, at oww@duke.edu. If you want to get involved and play an important role in planning and coordinating this retreat, please let us know, we’d love to have your opinions, insight and ideas.

Additionally, there will be an info session about the retreat on the first Thursday back of school at UNC, for all those interested. We’ll also be starting the process for signing up for the retreat soon. For more information, visit the Facebook page for the event.

This retreat is going to be a fantastic opportunity to engage in some really meaningful community building and empowerment. It will also be a great chance to meet new friends, hang with old ones and relax away from the stress of classes and assignments. We’re really excited and we hope you all are too. If you have any questions or comments, please don’t hesitate to let us know.

Can’t wait to see you all there and enjoy the rest of winter break!