Welcome!

[Ed Note: Oli is the incomparable president of Blue Devils United this year, and with the rest of the executive board has put together a very awesome, very packed schedule for the Fall. Community, let's do this.]

Can you believe it? Summer is finally over. You can feel the energy that everyone has arriving on campus - either for the very first time, or returning back to the Gothic Wonderland. It’s a whole new year, a fresh start, full of possibility.

To the Class of 2014 - welcome to Duke. Whether you're a regular reader of this blog or here for the very first time, we're so glad you stumbled upon it. We really can’t overstate how excited we are to have you all here. It is the coolest thing to see all the new faces on campus, to see how eager you all are to get involved in the multitude of things that make this campus such a fantastic place to be. We can’t wait to meet all of you!

Starting college is a big transition for anyone and can be especially difficult for those who are questioning or grappling with their identity. The great thing is though that you’re not alone – there are a huge number of people who have had similar experiences and who are more than willing to share their perspectives and advice. We have a really strong LGBTQ community here at Duke. It’s made up of amazing people, from all different backgrounds and walks of life. It’s a community that looks out for one another and in which some incredibly strong friendships have been forged. No matter who you are, how you identify, or where you’re from, we welcome you with open arms. And we love straight allies - you are all an incredibly important part of this community as well. You needn’t have ever been involved in LGBTQ activism or anything related to the LGBTQ community before either. Many of the people now involved with Blue Devils United (BDU) weren’t out in high school. But I can safely say, that for many of those people, including myself, getting involved the LGBTQ community and BDU was one of the best things they’ve ever done at Duke. We really hope it will be for you too.

I would also strongly recommend just stopping by the LGBT Center sometime to say hi. If you haven’t met the Director of the Center, Dr. Janie Long yet, then you should - she is one of the most amazing people on this campus. As well as being a fantastic, kind person with a wicked sense of humor, Dr. Long is an incredible resource and mentor. She is always happy to help students with whatever issues they may be having, to give advice, or just to lend an open ear. Her email is janie.long@duke.edu.

For those who are new, BDU is Duke’s undergraduate LGBTQ organization. We descend from a long line of groups, going all the way back to 1972 when the first gay advocacy group was formed on campus. Our mission is to promote a Duke that is more accepting and open - a Duke where people feel secure in expressing their true identities. To this end, we are an activist voice advocating for LGBTQ issues both within Duke and beyond. We also host a wide range of social events to facilitate and strengthen a sense of community on campus.

This year is going to be absolutely fantastic. There's so much do and to get involved with over the next few weeks, but I know that we're up for the challenge and ready to take Duke by storm! Our first BDU meeting of the year will be held on Wednesday, September 1st at 6:30PM in the Duke Center for LGBT Life. This is right after the LGBT Welcome Reception, also hosted in the Center from 4-6 PM that same day. The Center is in 02 West Union, located directly below The Loop restaurant. It can be reached either through the lower level corridor of the West Union, or via the stairs from the Bryan Center Plaza. We have SO much exciting stuff to discuss and info on opportunities to get involved, including:

• Our Repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell soldier campaign
• Outreach to local area GSAs and high schools
• Homecoming in conjunction with the Duke LGBT Network
• The North Carolina Pride Parade (NC Pride is, like past years, being held right here at Duke and in Durham, on Saturday September 25th. Duke has always had one of the most colorful (and fabulous) floats and it's going to be a lot of fun again this year.)
• Coming Out Day
• The Triangle Collaboration Initiative LGBT Retreat, being held on the weekend of November 5th to 7th at Camp Don Lee in Arapahoe, NC. This leadership retreat brings together students from several of the Triangle-area colleges, including Duke, UNC-Chapel Hill and NC State.
• The Fall Charity Drag Show
• And much more!

PLUS!

On Friday, September 10th, BDU will be hosting the first Fall LGBT Dance Party to welcome the new Class of 2014! It's gonna be an awesome night of music, food, dancing and great company! Stay tuned for more details, and if you'd like to help with preparations, email me at oww@duke.edu

AND!

This year, the theatre studies department is doing The Laramie Project, an award-winning play about the reaction to the murder of gay Wyoming teen Matthew Shepard in 1998. Auditions will be held on September 1st and 2nd, from 5 to 8PM in Sheafer Theatre,, with callbacks on September 3rd. Those interested should prepare a 1 to 2 minute monologue from a contemporary piece. There will be sign ups for auditions next Wednesday at the LGBT Center's Welcome Reception from 4 to 6PM. For more information contact Miriam Sauls at mmsauls@duke.edu.

Additionally, BDU will be tabling at the Fall 2010 Student Activities Fair next Friday, September 3rd, from 4 to 6PM out on the East Campus Quad. The Student Activities Fair showcases all of the student-run groups, organizations and club sports on campus and is the perfect place to sign up and get involved. Look out for us there and come up and say hi! We’ll definitely have one of the more colorful tables :) For any sophomores, juniors or seniors who want to help table for the Fair, please email me at oww@duke.edu.

So get pumped, tell your friends, roommates, acquaintances and pets - we can't wait to see you all there at 6:30PM on Wednesday :) I almost forgot the most important thing - there’ll be free food! (And a surprise!)

Book Review: City of Night

"Later I would think of America as one vast City of Night stretching gaily from Times Square to Hollywood Boulevard - jukebox-winking, rock-n-roll moaning: America at night fusing its dark cities into the unmistakable shape of loneliness." - City of Night

One of my favorite things about summer is actually having the time to read for pleasure. (My least favorite thing is having all of your belongings stolen in an aiport, but that's another story). Like many college students, I was an eager consumer of literature during my childhood, though this passion was inevitably pushed out first by the demands of school, and then college as I grew older. I'm not one of those people who can read books in snippets either, prefering rather to knock them off in big chunks. So I've really come to appreciate the time available during the warmer months that I can devote to reading.

The most recent book that I've read is called City of Night, by the American writer John Rechy. Published in 1963, it is considered one of the seminal classics of LGBTQ literature, being one of the first novels to explore the underworld of 1960s LGBTQ culture, and the many-faceted characters that inhabited it. City of Night chronicles the journey of the unnamed main character, a young Hispanic man, as he travels across the US from his birthplace of El Paso to the various 'Cities of Night' referenced in the title - New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago and New Orleans. Working as a 'youngman' (the word Rechy uses for hustler throughout the book), he encounters the full gamut of characters in the cladestine LGBTQ world - the scores, tricks, lesbians, drag queens and closeted guilt-wracked husbands among many others.

Rechy's writing is vivid, describing every detail of the main character's various interactions in an immersive stream-of-consciousness manner. Each of the chapters are devoted to the relationship between the young man and one particular player in the underworld's drama. The fastidiousness with which Rechy illustrates these individuals leaves no doubt that they are based on real people - especially since Rechy lent much of his background to the main character. Deliberate grammatical errors and idiosyncratic word choice further the envelopment of the reader into the Night City world. All of this adds up to an story that is hugely engrossing thanks in large part to its credibility.

City of Night fascinated me, not least because it gave such an unflinching look into the realities of the LGBTQ underworld of 1960s America. With the hindsight of the AIDS era, the promiscuity of the main players seems shocking, and throughout the book the knowledge of what was to come in the 1980s hangs heavy. I found myself wondering, more than once, whether I would have coped as a young gay male, born just a few decades earlier. The sense of guilt and confusion felt by the characters in the book is instantly recognizable, as is the unfulfilled voyage of trying to understand one's identity, which so many LGBTQ people still go through today.

I would really encourage everyone to read City of Night if they have the chance, not just for its historical narrative on LGBTQ culture, but also for its musings on identity and our place in the world. Or if not this book, definitely make use of the time remaining before classes start to enjoy some other great novel (oh look, now I sound like a librarian). The Duke LGBT Center also has a huge library of books which are sadly under-utilized (and no I don't include in this The Joy of Gay Sex - Volume III). I'd also encourage everyone to make use of this fantastic library, which has some real gems that would be really difficult to find elsewhere.

Enjoy the last week or two of summer!

City of Night
Rechy, John
1963, Grove Press
ISBN 978-0-28563-837-2

A Year in Review

By now, the stresses of the year have started to fade, the memories of papers, finals and long nights spent in the library receding into the background as summer begins. Some of us are relaxing on the beach, or in the mountains, or back home with our families. Some are back on campus, about to graduate and to bid farewell to Duke - congratulations to all of the Class of 2010. Some are traveling to exotic places with Duke Engage, or a study abroad program, or have an internship or a job. Whatever you’re doing, I hope you’re having a fantastic time and are managing to relax a little.

I thought it was worthwhile at this point to take a little look at the past year, reflect at what our community has experienced and accomplished and to look ahead to next year. Our community is so diverse, vibrant and engaged that I won’t be able to do justice to everything that is happened, but I hope to give a rough overview of the major events that have shaped the experience of our community this past year.

The year got off to a great start with the first Fab Friday and the chocolate fountain social on East campus. The Class of 2013 has really been engaged this year, it’s been fantastic to see so many first-years get involved, step up and take leadership positions within the community. Veronica, Spencer, Andrei and Gordon are definitely people who come to mind when thinking of people who have already had a hugely positive impact already. The number of students attending BDU meetings and visiting the Center has really grown too - often we don’t have enough chairs in the room for everyone at meetings, which really is a great problem to have. The increased number of women-identified students who have gotten involved this year has been fantastic as well. Our community has continued to grow at a rate that would have been unprecedented just a few years ago.

The Fall semester was full of fantastic events that students were involved in. September 26th saw the North Carolina Pride Parade parade here in Durham, starting on East Campus and looping around Ninth and Main streets. Duke’s float was fabulous as always, winning most colorful for the third year in a row.

Fall break saw many students go on the Common Ground retreat, organized by the Council for Race Relations. Many students involved with the LGBT community have either organized or participated in Common Ground over the years and they almost universally report how amazing and enriching an experience it is. The break also saw 11 Duke students travel to New York for the Out for Undergraduate Business Conference, a business conference aimed at attracting more LGBT individuals to careers in consulting and finance.

October was a busy month, starting off with Coming Out Day, the annual celebration of LGBT individuals and allies on Duke’s West Campus Plaza. The day was one of fun, music and festivities, with 1500 of the ever popular Love=Love T-Shirts being given away. The following weekend, a group of Duke students travelled with students from UNC and NC State to take part in the National Equality March on Washington. The march saw over 200,000 protestors converge on the capital to demand full civil rights for LGBT individuals, the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and the end of workplace discrimination. Some of the headlining speakers included Dan Choi, a US Army veteran being discharged because of his sexuality, Julian Bond, chairperson of the NAACP, Cleve Jones, a famous LGBT-rights activist and Judy Shepard, mother of Matthew Shepard. This event was a fantastic example of the activism practiced by our community and of the collaboration between the different institutions in the Triangle area. Thank you so much to Manny and Aliza for all of their hard work in organizing and planning our trip.

October was the start of our successful pride flag campaign. To raise awareness of the LGBT community community on campus, over 100 3’ x 5’ pride flags were ordered, to be distributed all over campus out of dorm room windows. The rapid uptake of these flags, not just by LGBT students, but allies as well, was fantastic to see, it truly was incredible to be walking through the main quad and see a whole bunch of flags fluttering from the window. (Many have noted that some parts of campus became a de-facto LGBT-selective living group!). In fact, the flag campaign was so successful that we ended up ordering even more and definitely intend on continuing the campaign next semester.

November was especially exciting, with the relaunch of this blog, which has just passed its six month anniversary in this current incarnation! (zomg). I think it’s safe to call the blog an unbelievable success, not least thanks to the dedication shown by all of those who contribute toward it. Huge props go to Chris Perry, the editor, who despite his modesty has been absolutely critical in the success of the blog, totally deserving of the first ‘BDU Chris Perry Award’ handed out last semester. The readers (who number many and hail from near and far) also deserve applause, their numbers keep growing and the blog truly would be nothing without them. Within a few weeks of going live, the blog was already featured on Pam’s House Blend, a nationally prominent LGBT news and opinion blog.

November 19th was the night of the annual drag, where ten amazing student performers strutted their stuff at the Duke coffeehouse, along with the ever-impressive Erica Daniels. The event was extremely well attended as always, with the coffeehouse nearly bursting at the seams. The Drag Show is always one of the most popular events each year, with this time being no exception. It was a fantastic opportunity for students to perform and express themselves through the art of drag performance.

The start of the Spring semester saw the first Triangle Collaboration LGBT Retreat, with over 60 students from Duke, UNC and NC State heading to Camp Chestnut Ridge for a weekend-long leadership retreat. It was fantastic getting to know so many students from other universities. The groundwork for a lot of future collaboration has definitely been laid and we hope to continue the retreat again next year.

The week after we were lucky enough to welcome Kyrsten Sinema, an openly bisexual member of the Arizona legislature. In 2006, Sinema lead the country’s only successful campaign to defeat an anti-same sex marriage ballot initiative. It was an honor and an inspiration for her to visit Duke for a lunchtime conversation. Just two days later Jeff Sheng, a photographer/activist brought his Fearless exhibition of out LGBT high school and college athletes to Duke. That week proved to be even more exciting, with the folk rock duo Nervous But Excited returning to Duke for a performance at Fab Friday. Right after spring break was the Lavender Ball, the LGBT semi-formal hosted by BDU each year. This time around it was in the Doris Duke center in the gardens, with record turn out. It was awesome to see so many people there, having a fantastic night in the company of their friends. At the end of March was the LGBT Passover Seder, which Dani Schocken put a huge amount of effort into organizing. The Seder was a wonderful and enlightening opportunity to learn about Judaism and the LGBT community, which I really hope continues in years to come.

April was perhaps the busiest month, with a huge amount going on, especially considering the rapid approach of finals and end-of-term papers. We had the highly visible and successful anti-hate speech campaign, followed by the inspiring Day of Silence poster campaign, culminating in the Day of Silence itself on April 16. Over 60 members of the Duke community participated in the campaigns, which sparked dialog and discussions all over campus relating to hate speech, oppression and the experiences of LGBT individuals. A huge shout out must go to our seniors, Brandy Lynn and Matt Lyons, who showed incredible leadership in helping to organize these campaigns, they worked incredibly hard to make them successes and we’re really going to miss them next year. April was also when Duke’s first undergraduate publication for queer women, WOMYN got started. The goal of WOMYN is to promote a more visible, confident and emboldened queer women’s presence at Duke. It’s a really exciting endeavor and I applaud everyone who’s helped get it off the ground, including the new editorial team of Megan Weinand, Jack Grote and Summer Puente. I can’t wait to see the first issue next semester.

Another awesome initiative headed by students was the report published by the LGBTQ subcommittee of the DSG Gender Committee. The report aimed to be a guide for improving Duke’s undergraduate environment, specifically in terms of the experiences of LGBTQ students. The report identified three main areas of improvement, in student norms, space and support/safety. Each section included concrete recommendations for the administration that could be taken to improve the Duke undergraduate LGBTQ experience. Congrats to Michelle, Aliza, Julia, Andrei, Vivi, Gordon and everyone else who was involved in writing the report.

Of course, along with all of our successes this year, there have been a number of lows and difficult incidents that our community has had to confront to move forward. In the Fall semester, the East Campus bridge, which had been painted for the NC Pride parade was vandalized with homophobic epithets and slurs. Members of our community were quick to respond however, with a glorious unicorn taking the place of the hate speech within hours of it being tagged. Another unfortunate incident of hate speech occurred late in the Spring semester at the NPHC Step-Off during the BSAI recruitment weekend. Thanks to a quick response by students, in particular Chantel Ligget’s fantastic letter, a productive outcome was possible from the incident, with members of the fraternity in question participating in our Day of Silence campaign. The week after, of course, saw the controversy involving the College Republicans erupt. I think the important thing to note with all of these incidents however, is the amazing way that our community responded and supported each other during each episode. I truly think that we emerged stronger as a group after each challenge that we faced and have taken each opportunity to learn from each incident and from each other.

This brief blog post barely scratches the surface of all of the wonderful and important events that have occurred this year - and of course it’s colored by my own experiences. There have been countless other interpretations and experiences over the past few months, each shaded in a unique way through the lens of each individual. I would love to hear your thoughts, comments and impressions of how the year went, as I’m sure there are many diverging opinions out there. Just as importantly, I’d love to hear your ideas and hopes for next year. The fantastic thing about a place like Duke is that there’s always endless opportunity to promote change and to make big things happen. Vocalizing these desires is the first step to making it all happen, so I encourage each and every one of you to describe what you think has worked well, what hasn’t and what you hope to see change or begin next year. We’ve certainly come a long way this year, but there’s definitely still so much more to do. There are still too many students on this campus afraid of coming out or expressing their true identities. Hate speech and oppression continues to be an unfortunate reality, as does the marginalization of certain groups, even within the LGBTQ community itself. The struggle for a more inclusive, affirming and accepting Duke is one that is ongoing and which requires the contributions of everyone.

There’ve been so many amazing and incredible people involved with the community this year that it would be impossible to thank them all, so I truly am sorry if I’ve missed anyone. I also wanted to thank Vivi, for being an inspiring and courageous leader, we’re truly going to miss your beautiful personality and of course, the awkward icebreakers. I want to thank Janie and Chris as well, for being such amazing mentors, guides and friends.

To all of the graduating seniors, congratulations with whatever you choose to pursue and know that you’ll be sorely missed!

To #4:

I always look forward to reading the anonymous posts on the BDU blog. They’re almost always incredibly enlightening and I think I come away with a new perspective on our community with each week’s set. As many others have said, I think the blog has an absolutely fantastic readership base.

An anonymous post (#4 in the most recent series here), particularly spoke to me this time. This poster speaks of how their excitement of their first Fab Friday at the Center quickly turned to disappointment. Expecting to make new friends and to be welcomed into the community, this person was completely ignored and excluded from the existing groups. Disenchanted, they left soon after.

Sadly, this is not the first time this has happened to a new visitor to Fab Friday or the LGBT Center. Often it is the reason that people are hesitant to stop by. It’s something that we all need to shoulder responsibility for too – I was at the last Fab Friday and didn’t talk to this person, for which I am truly sorry. Echoing what Chris Perry wrote, we can’t forget what it’s like to be shy or new to a situation – especially when we’ve been part of a group for so long.

In fact, my first experience with the LGBT Center was not altogether dissimilar to this poster’s. During the months leading up to my arrival at Duke, I had researched the LGBT resources and groups on campus and was well aware of the first Fab Friday event. Building up my confidence to actually go along was a whole other story however. Having finally resolved myself to attend, I took the long inside entrance to the LGBT Center through the West Union. (There was no way you were getting me to walk through a door that so flamboyantly proclaimed ‘DUKE CENTER FOR LGBT LIFE’ in plain view of the Plaza. You may as well have asked me to perform drag through the Marketplace.) My hands shook and my heart pounded as I pushed the door open. (I apologize if this sounds like a bad crime novel.) The first person I met, Janie, was as welcoming and inviting as she could be – she and Chris [Ed. Note: Purcell!] truly deserve a lot of praise for how they make new-timers feel welcome. In contrast however, the main room full of people was extremely intimidating. I knew no one, nor was I approached by anyone and within five minutes I was standing awkwardly beside the table of food. The sole consolation was that the cupcakes were amazing.

Like so many other students, I’ve been fortunate enough to have had some extremely positive experiences with the Center, Fab Fridays and the Duke LGBT community despite my first awkward experience. But it is so important for us to remember that there are many people who have not had good experiences, or are intimidated by even the prospect of visiting. It’s all too easy to forget that others exist once we feel comfortable in our own established groups and cliques – this is definitely something that I’m guilty of. This is particularly true for the LGBTQ community, where people may already feel uncomfortable expressing or promoting themselves, even without the additional difficulty of breaking into new social circles.

So, #4, I want to praise you for your courage for coming to Fab Friday for the first time. I truly am sorry that your experience turned out not to be what you hoped. But I am really glad that you decided to share it with us, because it is so valuable for everyone to be aware of this issue. I really hope that you will come back to the LGBT Center, Fab Friday, or a BDU event and that you have a much more welcoming and positive experience. I really hope you’ll become a part of our community, because we’d love to have you. I know I’m going to make more of an effort to reach out to newcomers and I know that so many others in our community will too. For everyone reading, I want to challenge you all to speak with someone who you haven’t met, who’s new, or who seems shy, the next time the opportunity arises. It’s a cliché, but it really can mean a whole lot for that person.

We Want You

Hey readers,

I hope you’ve all had a relaxing winter break, whatever you’ve been up to and wherever you’ve spent it. This post is to let everyone know about an exciting event coming up for the triangle area LGBTQA community this spring semester, something that I hope you’ll all be interested in participating in.

The weekend of February 12-14 will see the first Spring LGBT and Ally retreat held at Campus Chestnut Ridge in Efland, North Carolina. Any student from Duke, UNC and NCSU is warmly invited to attend.

You may be wondering what a retreat like this entails and what sorts of activities are planned. Essentially, this retreat is about empowering students and building a sense of community. We want to help foster leaders on each campus and strengthen the ties between the LGBTQA students of the three colleges. To that end, we have a variety of awesome programming planned, including a low-ropes course, a hayride and numerous team-building group activities, facilitated by the staff of each of the LGBT centers. The philosophy behind this retreat is that we can accomplish more through collaboration, networking, pooling resources and co-hosting events. To this end, we want to bring students from the three colleges together and facilitate this cooperation. Our ultimate goals are to build a stronger LGBTQA community and to equip students with confidence and identity.

We want your help to make this retreat the best it possibly can be. We truly hope that students will feel invested in the retreat and excited about the possibilities. We’ve already spoken with a number of students about this, but what we really want are your comments, thoughts and ideas. What would truly make this retreat amazing for you? What would you hope to get out of it? What issues and activities do you think absolutely need to be included in the weekend? Is there something that you’ve participated in some other event like this that really worked well? We really value your feedback – though we already have the basic activities framework for the weekend, what we’re looking for now is what you, the community hope to gain from this event. All feedback is welcome, either through the comments section at the bottom of this article, or through emailing Alex Kilkka kilkka@email.unc.edu or me, at oww@duke.edu. If you want to get involved and play an important role in planning and coordinating this retreat, please let us know, we’d love to have your opinions, insight and ideas.

Additionally, there will be an info session about the retreat on the first Thursday back of school at UNC, for all those interested. We’ll also be starting the process for signing up for the retreat soon. For more information, visit the Facebook page for the event.

This retreat is going to be a fantastic opportunity to engage in some really meaningful community building and empowerment. It will also be a great chance to meet new friends, hang with old ones and relax away from the stress of classes and assignments. We’re really excited and we hope you all are too. If you have any questions or comments, please don’t hesitate to let us know.

Can’t wait to see you all there and enjoy the rest of winter break!

Velociraptors

Something’s been bugging me for months. No, it’s not Fratty McBrahs-a-lot in KA pulling the Craven fire alarm every Monday morning at 4am. It’s not the fact that Taylor Lautner won’t just admit that he’s a few straight arrows short of a quiver. It’s not even that the Alpine Fro-Yo keeps giving me brain freezes when I eat it too fast.

No, it’s a conversation that I had a few months ago with my high school principal that’s been the source of my discontent. I’ll explain – part of the deal of me not getting deported/water boarded at Guantanamo Bay is that I send back a report on what I’ve been doing at college to the powers that be each year. I thought my principal would be interested to see this report as well, so I sent him a copy at the start of the year. I detailed all the stuff I’d participated in, including my involvement with LGBTQ issues on and off campus. Without mentioning anything specific, he emailed me and asked if I’d mind if he included it in the next school newsletter? “Of course not” I replied, and thought little more of it.

Months later when I was back home for a few weeks, I was chatting with him in his office about life in the US, and college in general. (So basically I just talk about red solo cups, beer-pong and pop tarts.) Then out of the blue he comes out with this: “Oh I hope you don’t mind me removing the bit about you being involved with gay rights from the newsletter – I didn’t want your brother to get picked on for it.” I was so surprised that I spluttered “No, of course not.” Which I’ve regretted ever since - because I do mind. A lot. First, my 17 year old brother and all his friends all know I’m gay and have no issue with it at all – in fact he recently asked me to send him over a Love = Love T-shirt. I mind because what he said is reflective of how LGBT issues are viewed at my high school, and so many high schools around the world. It’s something that’s swept under the rug, ignored and not talked about.

Now, I don’t think my principal disapproves of me being involved with LGBT rights – I think what he did really was a misguided attempt at protecting my brother. But if that’s the view he and many other administrators holds, then the situation for LGBT students at my school and other schools is never going to improve. I went to a small single-sex (which is common in Britain/Australia/New Zealand) high school. It sucked being closeted there. I’m ashamed of myself that instead of mumbling “of course not”, I didn’t tell him what it was like to be gay and growing up in that school, the effect that being closeted has on one’s mental health, and the loneliness of not knowing a single other openly LGBTQ person.

I failed that test of courage – but I’ve vowed not to let it happen again. Instead of taking the easy way out, I’m going to try to educate, explain how it makes people feel. The further out of high school I get, the more I appreciate the community we have here at Duke, and the security within myself that I lacked only a few years ago. It’s also increased my desire to do something to help improve the environment back home. I hope that I can make even a small difference for those back home and never forget where I came from (cue clichéd groan). So I hope that the next time you all face a test of character, you don’t fail it like I did, but rather have the strength to do good from it.

Friday Night

19 yr old wht duke student, 6’3”, 200lbs. brown/green, ddf, athletic. hwp plz, only looking for ppl around my age, if u cld be my dad I wont reply. i can host, or go to urs. hit me up if you’re looking for nsa fun, ur pics get mine.

Every night countless personals like the above go up on what I like to call the ‘Core Four’ of dating websites - Craigslist, Manhunt, Adam4Adam and Gaydar. Just like the sororities except with fewer champagne breakfasts, but just as many secret rituals. There’s not a lot of originality to be found in these ads. You’re either gl or vgl (good looking or very good looking, vvgl would be shameless). The number of body physiques isn’t particularly diverse either - you can either be athletic or have a swimmer’s body. And God help you if you aren’t hwp (height-weight proportional). Unsurprisingly, everyone’s looking for the same thing - nsa (no strings attached) fun. Exactly what is meant by fun can vary wildly. (I’ve found that it’s usually safe to assume that it’s not an offer to gift livestock in FarmVille though). In fact, the only real chance at artistic expression is how much you want to expose on camera - a tasteful nipple, navel, or perhaps the entire nether-region?

Of course it’s very easy to sit back and mock these types of personals, and the faces behind them. And to do so is hypocritical of me - I used these sites for years. But it really begs the question - why do so many college age gay and bisexual men (and I recognize women do too, though the number is much smaller), even those who are out, seek out ‘fun’ on these websites?

For those in the closet, the answer is relatively simple - the internet offers an anonymous outlet for their sexual desires - the 21st century equivalent of a public cruising spot (or the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport if you're a Republican politician). It’s a little more complex for those out of the closet. Even though it’s not their only available avenue for meeting other gay and bisexual men, out guys are still prolific on these websites. I think the real reason is more than just gay men being somehow inherently more promiscuous than the general population.

Focusing specifically on campus, I suspect it stems partly from Duke’s lack of a real dating culture. In lieu of this, people turn to what will give them quick gratification - even if it is devoid of intimacy. The heterosexual community has Shooters for random hookups, while the gays have Craigslist. You don’t need to frequent either to hook up with someone at Duke - but they’re probably the most rapid ways of doing so. So it’s really not that surprising that so many out gay and bisexual men use personals as a quick way to get off - especially considering hectic college lives. In fact, glancing through Craigslist will show that many Dukies are taking multitasking to the extreme, arranging hookups in Wilson Gym or Perkins Library.

My hope is that eventually we’ll progress to the point where we live in a community where Craigslist and all the other sites have largely outlived their purpose. So how do we get there? To be honest I'm not really sure, though I can think of a number of ways that would improve the situation. First would be to acknowledge the issue, instead of sweeping it under the rug. Without dialog and discussion on this taboo issue, little progress can be made in tackling it. Second would be to address students' sense of identity and self-worth through various programming, which is of course what the LGBT center already seeks to do. Coupled with a gradually improving campus environment towards LGBT individuals, this would ideally lead to a Duke where students feel more secure in themselves, and less inclined to seek out random gratification.

In the end, random hookups, while immediately gratifying, are usually superficial, and I think the general well-being of the community would greatly improved with dating and relationship cultures that are more open. The pace of change definitely isn't rapid, but I do think that we're moving towards a healthier, more organic environment in this regard.