When and Why I'm Silent

Maybe writing a blog post is an unconventional way to start my Day of Silence. But I had some thoughts about today I wanted to share.

Some of you may know that my favorite quote--a quote which truly changed my life--is by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He said "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." When it came time to apply to college, it likely comes as no surprise to those of you who know me that I chose the option to "create your own prompt" (I am, after all, the girl who applied for Program II).

Inspired by this quote, aware of the role it played in changing my perspective, and convinced it articulated my passion and forthright manner, I wrote that it was "the motto by which I aim to live my life." A line in my essay said something about how "For someone who is not afraid of death or dying, I'm awfully afraid of my life ending, at least as Martin Luther King defined it." I gave some examples of things I'm passionate about (Title IX; Girls for A Change) and things I speak up against (hate speech; an experience in Israel) before I concluded by writing that "When people don’t speak up about everyday inequities, regardless if it is they or others who are affected, it is dangerous and harmful to our society. That is what MLK meant. Our lives become polluted with injustices if nobody speaks out—if everybody is silent...That is why I can’t be silent. Not now. Not ever." [Thanks, Mom, for finding my essay on the computer at home!]

And yet, today, for the fourth consecutive year, dating back to my junior year in high school, I will participate in the National Day of Silence. [An aside: My first year, I was the only person I knew participating. As a senior in high school many more people took part (a trend for which I do not take credit). Coming here, though, from never having a community that participated, is really empowering and inspiring.] Surely, being silent today is not equal to being silent at other times in my life. After all, today is a day of not talking, not really a day of "silence." But there are still some weird opposing forces at play. Some LGBTQA advocates don't agree with the Day of Silence. Personally, it made me recall MLK's quote and my essay and about the seemingly contradictory messages, which are really not contradictory at all.

I hope the Duke admissions officer who read my application won't mind if I go back on those last three short sentences. For, today, I will be silent.

I’m silent because I respect you. I’m silent because you shouldn’t have to be. I’m silent because your silence goes unnoticed and I’m silent to make your silence heard.

I’m silent to speak up against the bullying I’ve witnessed. I’m silent because I care. I’m silent because you deserve respect. I’m silent for your right to be you. I’m silent because you’re silenced every day.

I’m silent because you are my friend, my family, my classmate, my peer, my teammate, my mentor, my role model, my co-worker, my neighbor—a member of my community. I’m silent because I cherish you. I’m silent because I love you.

I’m silent because your fight is my fight; because your pain is my pain. I’m silent for change. I’m silent for progress. I’m silent for equality and I’m silent so there will be justice.

hate speech hurts. no homo(phobia).

IT'S HERE! BDU'S ANTI-HATE SPEECH CAMPAIGN IS THIS WEEK, AT LAST!

Our slogan is "hate speech hurts. No Homo(phobia)".

Cause, let's face it. Hate speech sucks and homophobia is stupid.

The point of the campaign is to raise awareness about hate speech. So many people use it without thinking about what they're saying--who they might be offending, the hate they're perpetuating and normalizing, what it really means. BDU is calling those individuals out.

We will be sponsoring various events through out the week.

3/22 MONDAY: If you want to help with the campaign, we're going to be having a work party today, Monday, at 6pm in the BC. Following that, come to bridge painting at 8pm.


3/23 TUESDAY: We're going to be spreading our brilliant posters around campus starting at 10AM. You can meet in the LGBT center to pick up supplies! We also will have representatives tabling on the plaza from 11:00 to 3:00. Tabling on the plaza includes making spray paint t-shirts, serving rainbow cupcakes, and getting people to take a pledge not to use hate-speech and speak up when they hear it in return for a rainbow ribbon!

2/25 THURSDAY: More tabling on the plaza from 11-3! (see above, 3/23 Tuesday for details about tabling).

We need people to sign up to help with tabling! Please visit the doodle poll and sign up. Even if you've never done anything with BDU, come by the table, make friends and lend a hand. In all honesty, tabling for last year's Day of Silence was my first real BDU event--so don't be shy. Tabling is a great way to get to know people and help change the world!!

To sum it all up...BDU's anti-hate speech campaign includes:
1. AMAZING/gorgeous posters w/ snarky, in-your-face messages!
2. Pledge-signing!
3. Banners!
4. RAINBOW CUPCAKES!!!
5. Ribbons!
6. To-die-for t-shirts! (Seriously, you'll want one, they're awesome!)

Questions? Email me, Risa, at rfi@duke.edu.

I effing hate hate speech, but I LOVE BDU!!

Anti-Hate Speech Campaign Photo Shoot!!

Calling all BDUers or LGBT and Ally Identified Students at Duke!!

You may know that a committee of BDU has been working on an anti-hate speech campaign. Well, we've got it mostly figured out. And now we need your help to make it come to fruition!

We've chosen to use black/gray scale and purple (cause purple is just the best color, is there any question about that?). We'll have three different posters (see below). The campaign tag line is: Hate speech hurts. No homo(phobia).

Poster 1) Some posters will be modeled after GLSEN's "Think B4 You Speak" Campaign. We'll be using the definition theme. We've chosed to create posters for "fag" and "dyke." GLSEN's definition posters are pictured below:

Poster 2) Some posters will feature two people with talking bubbles. Person A's talking bubble says "oh dude nice shoes...no homo" and Person B's talking bubble says "yeah, that ignorance really brings out your eyes."

Poster 3) Some posters will feature students like YOU. They will be formatted like GLSEN's (see picture below), but the text will say: "I'm gay. Your homework isn't." or "I'm gay. Your test isn't."

THE PHOTO SHOOT FOR THE ABOVE POSTER IS TODAY. AFTER THE BDU MEETING. AT THE CENTER FOR LGBT LIFE (02 WEST UNION).

PLEASE WEAR A PURPLE SHIRT AND JEANS. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A PURPLE SHIRT PLEASE WEAR A BLACK ONE.

THANK YOU,

Brandy, Cody, Matt, Aliza, Risa, and Alyssa

A Lunchtime Conversation with Activist and Openly Bisexual Legislator Kyrsten Sinema

Interested in politics? Learning about the ONLY campaign which defeated an anti-same sex marriage initiative? Talking with an openly bisexual public official? Learning about how to build coalitions to advance an LGBT-friendly agenda? Want to talk about growing up in a conservative, religious family?

Then join Blue Devils United and the Center for LGBT Life for a lunchtime conversation with bisexual state legislator and activist Kyrsten Sinema!
NEXT MONDAY, FEBRUARY 22 @ 11:30 AM in the LGBT Center (02 West Union)
Lunch is generously being sponsored by the Center for LGBT Life and Blue Devil’s United (please RSVP to Risa Isard at rfi@duke.edu)

Raised in a conservative Mormon home, Kyrsten Sinema is openly bisexual and serves as a member of the Arizona Legislature. In her third term as a member of the House of Representatives she has declared her intent to run for the state Senate in the forthcoming election.

One of her most notable accomplishments was chairing the 2006 campaign called Arizona Together—the first and only successful effort in the country to defeat an anti-same-sex marriage ballot initiative. Currently, she serves on Obama’s national healthcare reform group. Kyrsten is the Board President of Community Outreach and Advocacy for Refugees and also serves on the board for the YWCA of Maricopa County. She is the recipient of awards for her political leadership, including the NAACP Civil Rights Award, AZ Hispanic Community Forum Friend of the Year, Planned Parenthood Legislative CHOICE Award, Sierra Club’s Most Valuable Player, and the AZ Public Health Association Legislator of the Year

Kyrsten holds both a law degree and a Master’s degree in Social Work from Arizona State University, and is currently pursuing her Ph.D. in the School of Justice and Social Inquiry at ASU. She is an adjunct professor in the School of Social Work at ASU and practices law when not in session. Kyrsten also serves as faculty for the Center for Progressive Leadership, teaching tomorrow’s community leaders about the political process.

Kyrsten’s first book, Unite and Conquer: How to Build Coalitions that Win and Last, was released in July 2009 by Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

Lunch is generously being provided by the LGBT Center and Blue Devils United.

Her visit is made possible by Blue Devils United, Duke Democrats and Duke NOW.

Every Gay Should Know #1: Maine's Question 1 Ad Campaign

[Ed. Note: Every Tuesday, we highlight an event, figure or tidbit of gay culture. Topics will range from the Stonewall Riots to Bea Arthur. Harvey Milk to the etymology of “fag.” Personally, just about all of these fall under “Everybody Should Know” for us. Bea included.]

On May 5, 2009, the Maine House of Representatives passed “An Act To End Discrimination in Civil Marriage and Affirm Religious Freedom” – a bill that would allow same-sex marriage in the state. The proposal had already been approved by the state Senate, and needed only to be signed by Governor John Baldacci in order to become law.

Baldacci signed the bill the next day, and the law was set to go into effect September 14, 2009.

Barring some sort of crazy intervention, of course.

Paperwork to launch a people's veto campaign was put in by Reverend Bob Emrich on May 7. Leading the opposition to gay rights would be the comically ironic "Stand For Marriage Maine," a Catholic Church-sponsored organization. The group hired the same public relations company that was successful in overturning gay-rights with Proposition 8 in California last November. With over the 55,087 signatures needed (almost double that, actually), Stand For Marriage succeeded in putting the issue to ballot on November 3, 2009 (the original Sept. 14 date was subsequently pushed back).

Ultimately, same-sex marriage was narrowly repealed in the state with a 52.8/47.2% split.

* * * * * * * * * *
No doubt the most angering facet of the Maine debate and subsequent election was the outcome. Proponents of gay rights were left overwhelmingly disappointed and surprised (figure 1) at the results.

figure 1: wtf?

However, perhaps just as mind-blowing were the tactics being used by Stand For Marriage Maine. Their ads would have been embarrassingly inaccurate and misleading if they weren't somehow effective. Most of their campaign revolved around the perception that somehow gay marriage (and voting "No" to Question 1: "Do you want to reject the new law that lets same-sex couples marry and allows individuals and religious groups to refuse to perform these marriages?") would lead to "homosexual marriage being pushed on Maine students." Because that is how sequitur arguments work.

Haha. I'd like to point out that the scare tactics being used here involve the words "Kissing and Hugging" next to "Gay Sex." It turns out that I've been having gay sex with several family members for years.

I would also like to invite everyone to post in the comments section what they think the scripted stage direction to Jen was at (0:22) in the second video.

But eek! That's what what was happening in Massachusetts after gay marriage was allowed four years ago? That sounds scary. I just hope that that NPR soundbite wasn't taken out of context.

(1:58) Tovia Smith: But many teachers say they're less afraid now since the high court decision legalizing gay marriage. Deb Allen teaches eighth-grade sex ed. in Brookline. She keeps a picture of her lesbian partner and their kids on her desk and gay equality signs wall. Allen says she's already been teaching a gay-friendly curriculum for nearly a decade, but she says she does begin this year feeling a bit more emboldened.

Deb Alen: In my mind, I know that, 'OK, this is legal now.' If somebody wants to challenge me, I'll say, 'Give me a break. It's legal now.'

Whoops, she was a sex education teacher. Right, forgot to mention that. We would not want to risk the passage of a gay-rights bill emboldening our sex education teachers to teach about sex. Or answer questions about sex. Guhroossssss!!!11 Asked by the state's Education Commissioner to evaluate the legitimacy of this fear, Maine Attorney General Janet Mills had this to say:

"I have scoured Maine laws relating to the education of its children for any references to marriage in the public school curricula," Mills wrote in her opinion. "I have found none."

This should end things, right? That sounds pretty definitive and convincing from an Attorney General. Obviously, the logical thing for Stand For Marriage to do is to apologize for the confusion when they completely made something up. As full-grown mature adults in positions of power, and not a group of petulant fourth graders, they believe in respectable discourse on the issues at hand.

Just kidding:

Ugh. This couple. The Worthlins? More like the Worstlins, am I right? It turns out that they conveniently moved into this Lexington district, fully knowing that there was already a pending lawsuit against the school for their anti-bias curriculum. They filed papers to join this suit a week after moving there.

Paul Ash, Lexington School District superintendent, told the [Bay Area Reporter] that the district had made several attempts to appease the Wirthlins and accommodate their religious convictions, but that he "came to the conclusion that they had no intent on settling. At the attempt to mediate prior to the case it was abundantly clear that the Wirthlins and Parkers had no intention of coming to a compromise, that they wanted a public fight. I only saw political campaigns and religious vigils. I never saw any evidence, not even a hint, that there was any intention on the part of these families to work out an agreement."

Holes in their facade of "unwitting victims" did not take long to appear. They were already members of MassResistance, which has been called an "anti-gay hate group" by the Southern Poverty Law Center. They're also related to the key political strategist for the Mormon Church in their efforts to destroy gay marriage, Dick (so perfect) Wirthlin. So yeah, I guess it is so weird that they would find themselves in this progressive school district (I do not guess it is so weird that they would find themselves in this progressive school district). The Wirthlins should team up with Richard and Mayumi Heene and go to Hoax School together.

To reiterate what I said before, though: as laughable and misleading as these ads are, they were ultimately successful. I hope that if you didn't before, you know now the sort of arguments and people that pro-rights activists are dealing with. Perhaps we should stoop to their level of outrageous, barely tangential statements: our angle will be that gay marriage can save the economy. Oh wait.