Out Athletes: The 2010 Winter Olympics Edition

Every other Wednesday I will be writing about LGBT Issues in Sport. Between each regularly scheduled post I may chime in with more posts if something comes up and/or I have the time. I have a serious academic interest in sport and in this column I’ll be highlighting current events, sharing resources, reflecting on complex issues and sharing athlete’s stories among other things. For more about me, you can read my first post, here. Please feel free to email me with thoughts or if you come across something you’d like me to include on the blog.

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Last week Duke hosted artist Jeff Sheng and his exhibit, Fearless. Fearless is a series of over 100 photographs of out LGBT high school and collegiate athletes. Sheng also spoke about his project called Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, so named because it’s a photo documentary book of American servicemen and service women who are LGBT. Anybody who spent any time with me last week bore the burden of putting up with my uncontained enthusiasm for Sheng’s visit. On Wednesday, I had the pleasure of attending lunch at The Center (thanks, Chris Purcell!) and also his talk that night. I can’t wait to write about that…or about Representative Kyrsten Sinema’s visit which was also last week [even though it’s not sports related I hope to write a post about it]…but both are going to have to wait because

1) the Olympics just ended and I can’t possibly only write one post about them (if you haven’t read it already, read my take on Johnny Weir here)
2) writing about Fearless will take me a while (I’m swamped with stuff right now, so I hope you’ll understand) and
3) I want to address the most recent comment on my last post about Weir.

February 26, 2010 6:17PM
Anonymous said…
There could be a lot of reasons he does what he does. It’s just a shame we don’t have more queers in the public eye. Can anyone name more than three currently active gay athletes? Or one?

Thank you, Anonymous, for inspiring what is going to be a new sub-column, if you will, of my regular posts. Welcome to the first volume of “Out Athletes.” Every so often I’ll dedicate one of my posts to highlighting out athletes. It is my intention to highlight individuals who are currently competing or who were out or came out during their career as an athlete. This is not to say that I won’t ever talk about other athletes who’ve come out of the closet since their playing days ended—just that in these specifically designated posts I won’t be. If you have a favorite athlete who fits this criteria, comment below or send me an email! I’d love to know why he/she/ze is your favorite (or one of your favorites) athlete(s) and to share their story with our fellow readers!

Oh, and I know I started this post by putting off writing about Fearless, but I’d be remiss not to comment on the fact that this is what Fearless is all about—recognizing out athletes and giving out athletes a face! See, it all does tie together!


Out Athletes: The 2010 Winter Olympics Edition
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
The San Diego Gay and Lesbian News identified six gay athletes who competed in the most recent Olympic games. All six are women. I’ve not read of any openly gay men, bisexual or transgender identified individuals who competed. Though, Women’s Figure Skating Gold Medalist Kim Yu-Na’s coach, Brian Orser, is (now) openly gay after being outed in a partner lawsuit in 1998, a decade after his second Olympic appearance. Out of roughly 5,000 athletes who competed, it would seem that there would be more than six in total, but these are the only ones who’ve made it known to the press. I think this is an important distinction to make. Someone may be out of the closet to their friends and family and even acquaintances and coworkers, but that does not mean that they’ve disclosed it to news sources.

A question for you readers: what do you think of these athletes (yes, I’m assuming there were athletes who competed and fit this description) who are out in their personal lives but not to the press? Is this being out of the closet?

The six confirmed women who love women are:

Renate Groenewold, speed skater from the Netherlands
An Olympic veteran, Groenewold competed and placed 10th in the 3000m. The Vancouver games marked Groenewold’s third Olympics (2006, 2002). In 2002 and 2006 she captured the silver medal in the 3000m. In 2009 she won gold at the world championships, also in the 3000m.

Sanne van Kerkhof*, speed skater from the Netherlands
In her first Olympics, van Kerkhof competed and placed 4th, with her teammates, in the 3000m Relay.

Ireen Wust*, speed skater from the Netherlands
Wust won the gold medal in the 1500m. She also competed in the 1000m (finished 8th), the 3000m (finished 7th) and the team pursuit (finished 6th with her teammates). The Vancouver games were her second Olympics (2006). She was the defending gold medalist in the 3000m after winning in Torino. In Torino she also won the bronze medal in the 1500m. Wust came out casually during an interview in 2009 when she commented on her current relationship (see the * below for details).

Vibeke Skofterud, cross-country skier from Norway
A member of the gold medal winning 4x5km Relay team, Skofterud also placed 22nd in the 10km individual.

Sarah Vaillancourt, hockey player from Canada
A Harvard graduate, Vaillancourt scored three goals and completed five assists en route to winning her second Olympic gold medal (2006).

Erika Holst, a hockey player from Sweden
An experienced Olympian, Holst and Sweden finished fourth in the women’s hockey competition. She previously represented Sweden at the 2002 Salt Lake City Games and 2006 Torino Olympics, garnering a bronze and silver medal, respectively. Interesting to note, Holst came out in the middle of her career in 2006.

*denotes that Wust and van Kerkhof are girlfriends. Wust is less than thrilled that her sexuality and not her skating has been the cover story. She is quoted as having said, “I want to talk about ice skating…You are not asking Sven Kramer [Dutch, European and World All-round Champion] about how his relationship is going. So why would you ask me? If I would’ve had a relationship with a guy, you wouldn’t have asked me either.” I have some thoughts on this, so maybe I’ll get around to writing about it over spring break. Oh, and I guess I owe Wust an apology for once again making her sexuality a plot line.

In all, it seems that while only six Winter Olympic athletes (and one coach) publically identified as gay (disclaimer: I don't actually know if these individuals prefer 'gay' or 'lesbian' or 'queer' or __________), the LGBT community has much to be proud of in all of their accomplishments! Random statistical fact: they amassed three gold medals (four, if you count Kim Yu-Na's gold as her coach's) which, had they been a country, would have been good for a tie for 9th place in the "gold medal count!" In total, 20 countries had athletes who won a gold. Eighty-two countries participated in the games.

[Author's note: it's been brought to my attention that the length of my posts may discourage readership, so I thank you for taking the time to read my columns. I hope that you find them interesting and informative. For better, or for worse, this was my attempt at a semi-short blog (nobody's perfect).]

“At Thanksgiving, it’s the turkey next to the kabob next to the hummus.”

I wish you could have been there as Ari shared his life with me. He comes from a Republican family in a town of 7000 people in Long Island. His high school was mostly white and Jewish, and by the time he graduated, was only out to four people. As we learned from last week’s blog entry, he didn’t like being closeted in high school since he didn’t have anyone to talk to about it.

Ari is a Jewish Israeli, with a mom from Tel Aviv and a father who served in Lebanon for six months. His family came to the United Stated based on persecution, so even though he does not consider himself very religious, he still feels very strongly about Jewish ethics and culture. “At Thanksgiving, it’s the turkey next to the kabob next to the hummus.” He remains very curious about his background and where he comes from, he says he knows it sounds cliché but “as an American I’ve become very detached, but I want to know more about my family.”

He spends his time reading and doing work (and watching films, as we know from his great film reviews on this blog). From how he talks about his shows, I can tell he watches a lot of TV too. Our interview was long and detailed and wonderful and he rattled off a list of his favorite things: The History Boys movie (Chris is going to make fun of him for this) [Ed. Note: Yeah, I am. This is The Weirdest Movie, Ari.], In Cold Blood, Into the Wild, The Smiths, his grandma’s food, New York pizza and bagels…

Ari is sensitive and hilarious but he showed a different side of himself when we sat down to talk. Granted, I don’t know Ari incredibly well in the first place, but it was great to listen to him wonder about the future. “I look forward to knowing how everything pans out. Where am I gonna be working? I don’t even know. It sounds so cheesy, but who am I gonna be marrying in Greenwich Connecticut and then going to where they accept me. I look forward to my parent’s acceptance as much as their growing process. I know my parents, I know what their reaction is gonna be. I want to see where my indecisiveness leads me.”

Our time together was interrupted due to the BDU meeting that was starting but I was able to get a little bit more information out of him. We talked about regrets, and he acknowledges that he’s going at his own pace so he doesn’t regret coming out sooner. He mentions that he regrets not being closer with his brother, but as he was saying this he realized that it’s definitely something he can still change. (So change it!)

One thing I do every night is think about three things I’m thankful for, so I ask this same question of my interviewees. Ari says, “Today I am thankful for my close friends here and at home, I’m thankful for (this goes back to the Jack thing) the LGBT students that are so comfortable with themselves, and I’m thankful I’m done with my history class.” I’m certain that we’re all thankful Ari is in our lives and I hope that he can continue to be a strong individual and be that beacon of light for some new individuals who are learning how to come out with their heads held high.

Anonymous Posts(11.30.09–12.6.09)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

You totally stepped it up this week with the anonymous posts, Readers. Good work all around!

But don't forget that we also have a responsibility to respond to our anonymous contributors! See you in the comments :)

#1:

"They Don't Understand"

They don't understand the injustice they cause

Nor do they mind passing unequal laws.

They don't understand the sadness they create

Nor do they see that what they're spreading is hate.

They don't understand that their vote matters

Nor do they care about the lives it shatters.

They don't understand the lies they tell

Nor do they realize we're not going to hell.

They don't understand the reason we fight

Nor do they know of the anger they incite.

O God I pray

That you show them the way

Because I am gay

And it's okay.

[Ed. Note: Oh hai, ORIGINAL POEM. Best. Readership. Ever.]

#2:

Absolutely amazing video by one senator during the vote in the NY Senate.

[Ed. Note: This video definitely made its way around the interwebs since this anonymous poster sent this in to us and we've already posted it before, but it's totally worth putting up again (see: "duh"). Let's all share about how many times we said "yes!" the first [eight] times we watched this. Tell her, Artie:

#3:

As I'm getting older, and closer to graduation and the real world, I've been thinking a lot about the possibility of having a family in a few years time. This raises conflicting emotions in me - as a gay male, obviously I won't be able to have children of my own with my partner, the child will only be biologically related to one of the fathers. There is, of course adoption - there're far too many kids out there without homes and families right now. I'm not really sure how I feel about all this, I'm not sure I'd make a good father, or that I'd be able to provide the right environment for a kid growing up.

What I want to know is, how do all of you in the openly lgbt community feel about this issue?

[Ed. Note: This is most definitely a topic that we've all thought about, right? Right. Let's throw a Comment Party for this one.]

#4:

I stumbled upon this website today (literally, stumbleupon.com = AMAZING). Anyways, the picture shows a fantastic campaign that promotes AIDS awareness and prevention in a super creative way. This was done in Rio Grande do Sul in Brazil, and they totally have the right idea.

Check it out [here].

translation: "Take your condom and help in the fight against AIDS" - as more people take condoms, AIDS begins to disappear. Genius? Absolutely.

[Ed. Note: Great find! It is difficult to inspire us desensitized Millennials, and it is always interesting to see the amazing [by necessity, almost] campaigns that Good organizations come up with.]

"If it's one of my main identifiers, I shouldn’t feel bad about that. I don’t think it’s so bad." -Ari Bar-Mashiah on being gay

As I've done with several Duke students younger than I am, I have watched Ari transform into a strong individual, one who is much stronger than he realizes. Ari isn’t out to his family, but still provides an incredible force in our community at Duke. He rattled off a list of reasons to me about why he hasn’t come out yet to his family but he knows most of them are just excuses. We’ll all have our fingers crossed that Ari can have the strength this Winter Break to finally begin the conversations with his parents and siblings.

He’s a self-described social butterfly, but anyone who knows him would agree. In high school he was involved in many activities, but was only out to a select few. Although there was a GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance), Ari refers to it as SAG, the straight alliance for gay people. No one identified as gay. He didn’t like being closeted, but always had a hard time reconciling the way gays are portrayed in the media. He didn’t think people could be intelligent and gay at the same time.

Coming to Duke, and particularly his experiences with Project Build, paved the way for Ari’s integration to the LGBT Center and it’s social activities. For Ari, the LGBT community at Duke was much more than he had at home and for that he is “very, very thankful.” He says, “You wish there was always more, or at least, more out. If I would want to see something, I would want to see more gay couples holding hands, the peck on the cheek when they go to class on the Plaza. When it comes to the community, they’re not to blame. It’s the other students, and the stuff we have to deal with, like ripping down flags, it’s the bridge incident or the bench incident. I really love the LGBT community here.”

Ari takes a moment and gives tribute to another Center frequenter. It was so sweet and so true it needs to be shared here in this blog. I believe we should all take a moment and think about those we look up to and pay tribute wherever we can.

“There is no one here that I appreciate more in the LGBT community than Jack. By far. By far. By far. Jack has allowed me to feel more comfortable with myself, because I see how comfortable he is. He’s so unafraid. People can be inspiring in so many different ways, by being active and forward and political, and you see them being proactive. Jack is the silent fighter, he doesn’t have to say a word. It makes me so much more comfortable to come here.”

Ari is great at making people laugh and finds ways of relating to everyone. I asked Ari what his favorite LGBT event was at Duke. Here’s what he said: “You know what I fucking love? Fab Friday. I love Fab Friday. There’s so many good things at once. It’s Friday, I just got out of classes, and I see all these amazing people. You see people that you may only see once a week. And Jack makes great food.”

I know we’re all grateful for what Ari has added to our community, and it truly is a joy to see him grow and learn from the other wonderful people who support him.

Stay tuned to learn more about Ari next Thursday, and I promise there will be photos next time (y’all know how busy the last week of classes gets, cut me some slack!).

Coming Out Story #3

[Ed. Note: Every Wednesday, we collect a coming out story and post it here, anonymously. They can be long or short, devastating or hilarious or boring or somewhere in between. The stories can be gathered in person or digitally - even using our "submit anonymously" link on the sidebar! If you'd like to send one in, email us at bluedevilsunited@gmail.com. If you don't feel like writing, we can meet in person, too, (ignore this PSA) and I'll transcribe your story here. Just let us know.]

It was finals week in tenth grade, so we got to leave school right after our test. I went to my friend's house down the street with a bunch of people to hang out for the rest of the day. Everything was going great until my mother called the house I was at (this was before we all had cellphones) and just said "I'm coming to pick you up."

Oh?

From her tone of voice and withholding of any reason why I had to leave early, I suspected that someone had died. I have old grandparents, and thought the worst. But I was assured that everyone was "okay" and everything was "fine" (though we all know what that means). I hung up, and almost immediately realized what was up. I ran to my friend's computer and confirmed the worst: that I was not idle on Instant Messenger.

I had stayed logged into my Windows account on our family computer and furthermore had left up all of my AIM conversations. Including the one I had with [Shannon] the night before where, uh, I said some pretty explicit things about one of our straight friends, [John]. I basically outlined some pretty violent sex that I wanted to have with him and frequently used the words "fuck" and "brains out." This has happened to the best of us, right? ...Right?

Okay, so I was a horny kid. Sue me.

So at this point I knew that my mother had read this (mortifying, in case you couldn't figure that out), and she was on her way to confront me over it. Awesome! This is exactly how I always saw my coming out unfolding.

She picked me up and we went back to my house in silence, and I was led to our computer room. We sat.

...

"I don't like the language you use on the internet. It's inappropriate."

Wait, really? Phew. I could handle a lecture on swearing. I'd done this a thousand times before, as I am a big fan of curse words. I simply sat there and absently agreed to never say these things again. Ever again. Can I go now?

"Are you gay?" she blurted.

Fuck. Shit.

There was really no way out (it's Puns Week on Our Lives) of this one, as the evidence was stacked up against me quite a bit. Straight guys do NOT say the things that I said. I had to come out. So many grandiose, articulate ways to do this! I could turn this into a real Lifetime movie. A Glee moment before there even was such a thing. Instead, because obviously I hate myself, I went with

"Duh!"

Yup. "Duh." That's the best I could do. That's what I came up with. Instead of Kurt from Glee I went with George from Seinfeld ("Jerkstore!"). I think I blacked out after that because I don't remember too many details (I was busy starting years of regretting my diction in that moment). I do know, though, that mom was more than accepting. Thrilled, actually. Probably because her years of having me lip-sync and dance Mariah Carey songs had paid off.

* * *

I guess looking back I don't entirely hate that that's how things went down. It forced me to come out, which had to happen at some point. It actually saved me years of perseverating and agonizing over how best to go about it. Mom knew then, but it took years until I was comfortable enough to talk about it. Which wasn't that bad. It was a pretty good arrangement where I knew she knew, and that she was The Best about it, but I was allowed to really come out on my own time.

But fuck, what an embarrassing, messy way to go about it.

"I don't think you should be sleeping over [John]'s house this weekend."

Anonymous Posts(11.16.09–11.22.09)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

#1:

Hello everyone! It's Class ACES Registration time again, I'm looking for a sexuality course that is fun and deals with LGBT issues. I'm thinking of signing up for SXL 135, with Janie Long, called "Clinical Issues in LGBTQ". Has anyone here taken this class? Is it worth taking, or fairly interesting? Is it hard or straightfoward?

Thanks! Looking forward to taking my first gay-themed class, if it's good!

-Undergrad lesbian

#2:

Gay marriage in New York! How awesome would this be? Go Gov. Patterson!!!!!

#3

The Colbert video reminded me of a speech Keith Olbermann made last November, speaking out against Prop 8. This video is incredibly meaningful and is just as relevant today as it was a year ago. Forgetting politics and putting religion in perspective, he stresses the importance of love and happiness and the significance of spreading that love and happiness in a world that is so filled with hate. This is a video that everyone should see: both people in support of the LGBT community and non-supporters alike. It can definitely spark discussions on religion, love, and the symbolic nature of marriage and what it truly stands for. I urge you to take a 7 minute break from whatever you are working on and listen to this speech.

Enjoy!

Every Duke Gay Should Know #2: The Gothic Queers

For this week's post, I decided to post a Chronicle article from 1997. The undergraduate LGBTQA organization at the time was called the Gothic Queers...and they too had a little bridge incident. It is important to know where we have been...to know where we are going!

Gothic Queers charge censorship
By Devin Gordon
October 10, 1997

Blotted out by intermittent scads of white paint, colorful slogans on the East Campus bridge celebrating homosexuality and National Coming Out Week have been systematically removed from the view of passersby during the past two days. An unnamed official at the University's Department of Facilities Management, which ordered the whitewashing, considered the messages offensive. The gay community-outraged and upset-has called it censorship.

"We were all shocked to discover that there's a speech code at Duke," said John Howard, director of the Center for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Life. "We were appalled to learn that it's administered by Facilities Management." As part of the National Coming Out Week festivities, dozens of members of the University's homosexual community gathered earlier this week to paint the East Campus Bridge pink and decorate it with slogans of queer pride.

But during a scheduled street-cleaning project Wednesday afternoon, a crew of facilities management workers obscured a considerable number of the messages with white paint.

In a statement to The Chronicle Thursday evening on behalf of the senior administration, Executive Vice President Tallman Trask said the whitewashing was performed, in part, to delete offensive words and phrases that had been painted on or near the work by the gay community. Facilities management officials, he explained, ordered the deletions in accordance with its long-standing policy against "vulgar or obscene graffiti... placed on Duke campus."

"Some of these [deletions] were obscene and, consistent with the past policy, should have been painted over by facilities staff," Trask said in the statement. "Most, however, were statements which reflected the world view of gays and lesbians and were consistent with their right to free expression. The removal of these statements was an error in judgment that cannot be condoned. The facilities department has been instructed to be more circumspect in future decisions to paint over language at the underpass."

Sgt. Sara-Jane Raines, the Duke University Police Department's minority liaison, said she investigated a complaint that LGBT Center officials filed about the repainting. Prior to the actions of facilities management, she asserted, the bridge contained little or no anti-gay graffiti and no patently offensive language that would have justified the whitewashing.

"I did not see any profanity, I did not see any swear words, I did not see any obscene language of any kind," Raines said. "The things that I know were painted over-one of them was a quote by e e cummings. And the word 'queer' was painted over pretty regularly."

Jerry Black, director of facilities management, could not be reached for comment. But Howard said that Black has agreed to meet next Thursday with him as well as with Campus Community Development Dean Maureen Cullins and her staff. Despite agreeing Wednesday afternoon to meet with administrators, Black still authorized facilities management workers yesterday to continue the whitewashing effort from the morning into the afternoon, Howard said. He added that the individual at facilities management who allegedly made the initial order oversaw yesterday's project.

Ben Reese, assistant vice president for cross-cultural relations in the Office of Institutional Equity, visited the bridge yesterday afternoon in an attempt to sort out what had been painted over and why.

"See," he said, pointing to a whited-out word, "if that just said 'queer,' there's no reason to paint over that. Not only is 'queer' an acceptable term, but it's also, as we should know, often a term of pride."

Most of the painted-over material had been completely obscured, however, making it difficult to discern how it had originally read and whether it was appropriately censored: Rumors have been circulating that some anti-gay statements were added to the wall later in the week and then whitewashed away.

"At a university," Reese said, "we have a responsibility to be vigilant about hate speech, hate language, offensive utterances. But at the same time, we have to be careful not to stifle statements of self-identification."

The six leaders of Gothic Queers, the University's undergraduate homosexual organization, wrote in a letter to the editor of The Chronicle that they were disgusted with the conduct of the facilities management department.

"Gothic Queers considers [the department's] actions evidence of discrimination and censorship," they wrote. "Moreover, such actions are a flagrant dismissal of our basic civil rights. Gothic Queers expects the University to review [the department's] bridge censorial policies to ensure that all groups on campus are treated equally." During conversations with Black, Howard said he learned that facilities management has the authority to erase any material on campus property that it deems "offensive and profane."

"They say they do this regularly, but there is no written policy," he said. "So what we want to know is, where do they get the authority to determine what's offensive?... We're already discovering that this unwritten policy is selectively applied. That
suggests discrimination."

Janet Dickerson, vice president for student affairs, said she investigated the Department of Facilities Management's policy and discovered that it does maintain a list of words that are "always painted over." She said Maureen Cullins attempted to secure a copy of the list but was denied access.

To avoid such situations in the future, John Burness, senior vice president for public affairs said that facilities management officials have been instructed to forward obscenity concerns to upper-lever administrators before taking action.

Yesterday afternoon, however, the bridge stood as a pock-marked collage of pink, black and white, with several messages interrupted and rendered incomprehensible. In a move designed to restore their tarnished celebration of identity, members of the gay community gathered to repaint the bridge last night at 10:30 p.m. Earlier in the day, the LGBT e-mail newsgroup was awash with messages berating the University's conduct and calling friends to action; at least three people sent letters to President Nan Keohane demanding a public apology.

"This is an act of censorship which violates free speech rights and an act of discrimination which violates the University's anti-discrimination statement," wrote John Clum, professor of English and drama, in a letter to Keohane. "I assure you, many of us on the faculty are as angered at this as the students. It is another sign of the administration's mixed message on gay and lesbian issues."

Meegan White, a sixth-year graduate student in the philosophy department, agreed with Clum's appraisal of the situation.

"What I'm most troubled by is the silencing of students during a rare political moment," she said. "This is an act of silencing gay students on campus, so I think the University is going to have a long way to go to mend relations with the gay community."

White also implicated the Campus Police officers who did nothing to stop or even question the facilities management workers who were whitewashing the bridge. "Safety," she said, "is not just physical safety-it's safety to be who you are." Lew Wardell, assistant director of Campus Police, said the officers were behaving appropriately by neither aiding nor impeding the workers. Campus Police will only paint over something, he said, if it contains some form of physical threat to a person or group; in general, he explained, the Facilities Management Department has the authority to make the decisions in most cases.

Wardell added that the bridge-painting tradition during National Coming Out Week has encountered such controversies in the past, though not for several years. The University of Michigan at Ann Arbor is also embroiled in a censorship controversy pertaining to National Coming Out Week, according to an LGBT Center press release. Grounds crews at UM removed flyers and chalkings that promoted gay-pride activities earlier this week-actions that LGBT students there contend are violations of UM's non-discrimination policy.

Every Gay Should Know #2: Gay Media Pioneers Bert and Ernie

[Ed. Note: Every Tuesday, we highlight an event, figure or tidbit of gay culture. Topics will range from the Stonewall Riots to Bea Arthur. Harvey Milk to the etymology of “fag.” Personally, just about all of these fall under “Everybody Should Know” for us. Bea included. This week's EGSK is late, making me the first person on the staff to not meet a deadline. This is just the sort of thing I want my staff to see me doing.]

Bert and Ernie are one of twelve Muppets that Jim Henson developed for the now 40 year-old television series Sesame Street. Though only briefly appearing in the pilot episode, the duo's segment tested best in focus groups and it became immediately apparent that the show should heavily feature them as stars. Bert and Ernie made their television debut on November 10, 1969.

They've been paving the way for homosexuals ever since.

That Bert and Ernie are in a long-term, committed gay relationship is proven and well known, or as Sesame Street's PR people put it, "Bert and Ernie... do not portray a gay couple, and there are no plans for them to do so in the future." Mere semantics.

Let's discuss the facts. These two "single" men are living together in an apartment on Sesame Street. Bert and Ernie sleep in separate twin beds, but these are located in the SAME ROOM. It is worth noting that not once has either complained about how small their mattresses are. Presumably, this is because the beds are arranged such that they can easily be pushed together to form a queen(s)-sized bed when the cameras stop rolling.

Even if these two guys are simply straight best friends that just haven't found the perfect woman, why are they spending all of their free time together? Fishing trips and vacations to Egypt? C'mon. Lovers.

Also, why would two heterosexual men choose to live together on Sesame Street of all places? Though we are never told just how to get to Sesame Street, we do know that it is somewhere in New York City. If you're on a non-numbered street in Manhattan and you see an establishment called The Furry Arms (a "hotel"), you're probably in The Village. Spend some time observing the indie guys who walk into the local thrift store Finders Keepers, and you'll see what I mean.

Sesame Street has exactly zero to offer straight men.

Say what they will, but writers haven't exactly kept Bert and Ernie's sketches free from [not-so-] subtleties. Is there no reason why there is an oil portrait of Bert and Ernie in their living room?

...and in their bedroom?

No, seriously, let's talk about this because this is bothering me and I think it's important. These are not photographs, nor are they pencil or chalk. These are PAINTED portraits. Using rates around my home in Patchogue, NY, this would have cost at least $2000 (I'm not even going to go into the fact that they're framed, too). So you mean to tell me that these two completely platonic heterosexual men spent over $2000 to have a portrait painted of them... and then commissioned ANOTHER for $2000 more? Sure. Normal guy stuff.

The rest of the home decor doesn't exactly keep the two puppets closeted, either. So many lamps and armchairs! I'm also sure that most straight men don't even know what valances are let alone would think to feature them on their windows. Two breeder men living together would also not keep the apartment that clean. Let's be honest.

I truly don't know how this is ambiguous for some, especially those in the community. Even if one were to successfully refute all of the things I've mentioned above, the sheer abundance of bananas in Bert and Ernie skits should be enough to realize that they are meant to be gay men:

I propose we celebrate the presence of these openly (as far as those lace curtains and I are concerned) gay characters on our TV screens. Homosexuals were not exactly popular on basic cable at the time, but Bert and Ernie fabulously broke the heteronormative mold. I consider them wholly responsible for the success of Will & Grace and Kurt on Glee. They are the Jackie Robinsons of gays in mainstream media, and it should be recognized that as a result were made to endure the same intolerance and adversity as all other social pioneers. Said Rev. Joseph Chambers in one of his radio shows in 1994:

Bert and Ernie are two grown men sharing a house and a bedroom. They share clothes, eat and cook together and have blatantly effeminate characteristics. In one show Bert teaches Ernie how to sew. In another they tend plants together. If this isn't meant to represent a homosexual union, I can't imagine what it's supposed to represent.

I agree, but contextually he was making his case to have the characters banned. Haha, all kidding aside, if they've pissed off some right-wingers then we should be honoring them gay OR straight. Good for them.

Coming Out Story #2

[Ed. Note: Every Wednesday, we collect a coming out story and post it here, anonymously. They can be long or short, devastating or hilarious or boring or somewhere in between. The stories can be gathered in person or digitally - even using our "submit anonymously" link on the sidebar! If you'd like to send one in, email us at bluedevilsunited@gmail.com. If you don't feel like writing, we can meet in person, too, (ignore this PSA) and I'll transcribe your story here. Just let us know.]

Am I a lesbian? Probably. Am I bisexual? Maybe. Queer? Perhaps. I never put an official title on my sexuality and still don’t really. All I know is that I’ve been crazy about members of the so-called fairer sex, ever since I was old enough to go crazy about anyone. But I didn’t really name my feelings.

The first time I ever got my sexuality labeled was in the eighth grade. Her name was Corinne (name changed, of course). I walked her back home after a movie and we sat on her porch and just talked for hours. I don’t even remember the conversation. Staring at her evenly glossed lips, I was floating too high up in the air to really listen to what they were saying. She had the most perfect part right in the middle of her hair and the cleanest fingernails I had ever seen. Once she caught me not paying attention and shook her head and said, “You’re such a homo.” She was just joking, but I never really thought about that word until just right then.

Then I started thinking about it a lot and when I was 17, I finally did something about it: I fell in love with a girl. Indisputable-loco-crazy-maudlin-mushy-I-can’t-breathe-without-you-and-I-write-you-poems-instead-of-doing-homework love. You might know what I mean. Well, if you do, then you know it’s impossible to keep that sort of thing to yourself.

Eventually, I came out to my friends. One by one. Again and again, I expected to face some kind of rejection or have someone change the way they acted around me. No one did. Human beings. They really surprise me on a daily basis.

I’m still not completely out to my family, which is why I’m keeping this anonymous. Sometimes, I feel like I’m living two lives: one with my family and one with everyone else. But let me just say that it was never my purposeful intention to deceive anyone. I just don’t think my parents and grandparents are ready for it yet. I’m not ready for it yet.

Sometimes, I think about all the girls I had a major crush on, but never had the courage to admit to myself. I suppose the hardest person to come out to is yourself. It took love for me to realize a part of myself that had always existed. It took love for me to finally muster the courage to go to the LGBT Center (one of the best decisions of my life). And it’ll take love for me to come out completely to my family. But the best part is that I know it exists. Love.

Anonymous Posts(11.9.09–11.15.09)

Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)

#1:
Every time I log in to Facebook, this kid has a new status up. There's something about each one he posts that catches my attention. Either one of his friends has changed it without his knowledge so that it reads "_____ loves dick" and his friends join in with equally ignorant comments, or he's gone back and changed his status to say that the person who wrote the previous status "actually loves dick," or his friends have tried to insult a poetic or emotional status by simply writing "fag." under it. I truly do not understand these people. I am offended. What would you guys do in this situation?

#2:
Anonymous message to BDU, from an outsider:

Dear BDU,

I really appreciate everything you do to increase visibility of the gay community at Duke. Please know that there are more of us than just meets the eye. I am a 110% lesbian student here at Duke, although my looks and actions would never indicate my status as a minority sexuality. Yet although I lack the courage that you all have to come out, I am still very grateful for the way you promote gay rights and visibility on campus (and elsewhere), via activism and your programming. I am slowly taking small steps to coming out, and it's a hard process, (I know I'm preaching to the choir with that one), but I think that having this blog with a daily post to read-and perhaps relate to and even connect with-will be just one more beneficial push in the right direction: outside of the closet.

Thank you for this new blog and all of your work,

- A gay female undergrad sophomore at Duke


[Ed. Note: This last post made us feel all fuzzy inside, thanks for your kind words!]

Every Duke Gay Should Know #1: 2007 Addition of "Gender Identity" to Duke's Non-Discrimination Policy

In 2005, Duke University's LGBT Task Force formed a committee to research and advocate for the extension of the university's nondiscrimination policy to transgender individuals. The committee examined policies favored by other states, corporation, and peer institutions, such as Yale, Harvard, Stanford, and Princeton. After ten months of research, it issued a report, recommending that the university protect transgender members of the university community from discrimination based on "gender identity or expression." In February 2007, the board of trustees approved an update to Duke's statement of equal opportunity that included the words "gender identity." It also voted to change the wording of the section covering LGBT individuals to refer to "sexual orientation" rather than "sexual orientation or preference," to reflect the evolution in the ways that sexual orientation is understood.

Sounds great on paper, right? Fast forward to August 30, 2007, when a parent's complaints resulted in the eventual relocation of a transgender student from a West Campus dorm to an off campus apartment.

So I ask myself, how far is our university willing to go to protect a transgender student? Is it really just an advocate until the threat of a lawsuit arises? What does the fact that it took three years for the inclusion of "gender identity" to be voted on by trustees say about our university's willingness to pioneer the way for LGBT student rights? What does our administation's response to the transgender student's housing situation only months after the nondiscrimination policy was officially changed say about the weight of this commitment to equal rights?

Two years later, as we look ahead to the construction of a new dorm wing on West Campus, with no administrative mention of active measures being taken to ensure that the new housing options will accomodate transgender students...how much has really changed?

“Summer, I need the giant banana. I need it.”

So who goes to the LGBT Center anyway? Have you ever been there? Do you want to go, but are scared? It’s ok, I was scared too. My first few times were terrifying. I clung to Chris Purcell, the Program Coordinator, because I didn’t know anyone else. Now I go there all the time.

Sure, sometimes it’s empty and eerily quiet in the morning hours, but as the day passes several people stop in to check their e-mail, try to do homework, eat, and hang out. In all honesty, it’s my haven and there’s no other place I prefer on campus. I keep to myself quite a bit, but the Center is a safe space where I don’t have to worry about anything but being a twenty-year-old Duke student who’s procrastinating just like everyone else.

My Thursday blog entries are developed from interviews I am in the process of conducting and friendships I continue to form through interactions in and out of the center. I want to put a face to our strongest allies. I want to put a story to those LGBTQ-identified students/faculty/staff who remain passionate in their dedication to whatever gets them up in the morning. I will present these tenacious individuals, who do their part in making Duke’s campus a more accepting place, not just a tolerant one, first through their devotion to LGBTQA issues. The following week, I will highlight the other components of their lives that make them who they are and the paths they’ve followed to get here, to show the multidimensionality of our community members.

Welcome to part one of my first victim profile.

There are few people at Duke who make me feel genuine happiness like she does. Perhaps it is her unyielding devotion to Peg, the LGBT Center’s Staff Specialist, or perhaps it is her pet cacti and unmatched sense of humor. She is someone I admire and someone who I look for to change a bad day around. Today and next Thursday’s blog entries will be devoted to her.

It is my pleasure to introduce you to Viviana Santiago. Come back next week to learn more about the giant banana.

Aside from her amazing collection of Facebook profile pictures, you should know Viviana because she is the president of Blue Devils United, and quite easily one of the most hilarious people I know. Her leadership this year has brought our undergraduate student group closer together and amused in meetings with her quirky attitude. It is sitting in these meetings, as Viviana tries to use noisemakers to call order and attention, that I feel most connected with our community. She is also part of the Center student staff, and part of her duties place her in charge of planning for the Women Loving Women group.

And this is what Viviana has to say about the Center: “I like the people that come in and work there, they’re funny and have a different perspective that you can’t find anywhere else on campus.” But she also notes some changes she’d like to see, “I wish more people came, and a more diverse group of students on campus would come. I know there are some students who would never come. I wish the president would come visit.” She especially hopes that there would be more Duke women who felt more comfortable being visible and in joining the community.

Coming Out Day is her favorite LGBT event on campus because it reminds people that the community is not invisible and it truly gives allies a chance to show their support. Many who we never see at the Center come out to support our cause.

Now, I have a few more personal comments to make about Viviana, so excuse the sentimentality if that isn’t your cup of tea. I first met Viviana in a House Course she co-taught called Latinos in Durham in the spring of my freshman year. She was incredibly quiet. I’d say we’ve only been friends a short while, but her presence in my life in and out of the Center has already produced a ton of amazing memories. I’d like to share more of my stories about this amazing woman, so please come back next week for the continuation of this article to learn more about her giant banana adventure, her Latina identity, and more.

Coming Out Story #1

[Ed. Note: Every Wednesday, we collect a coming out story and post it here, anonymously. They can be long or short, devastating or hilarious or boring or somewhere in between. The stories can be gathered in person or digitally - even using our "submit anonymously" link on the sidebar! If you'd like to send one in, email us at bluedevilsunited@gmail.com. If you don't feel like writing, we can meet in person, too, (ignore this PSA) and I'll transcribe your story here. Just let us know.]

I was 13 or so, I think, when I first realized I was to be gay. Let's call it the first revelation. I wasn't sure what it meant at the time, but I knew it bothered me greatly. I cried and prayed and tried to figure out what being gay meant, particularly as a Catholic. I was sure I had screwed something up to end up this way. I was certain, too, that it was reversible--that I could simply figure out what I had done wrong and somehow undo it.

I spent the next six years attempting to reprogram my sexuality. In retrospect, I'm really just glad I didn't have access or knowledge sufficient to truly screw myself up too badly. I'm not easily discouraged, though, and I kept trying until just after my freshman year here at Duke. After an emotional discussion with my ex-girlfriend, I came out to her.

The second revelation was harder-earned than the first. I think all those years of active denial were necessary to get there, as well as my 12 sleepless hours of thought, prayer, and reflection.

You always hear about how people talk to God. And I'm a reasonably faithful person, or at least I try to be. I had just never personally believed that God actually communicated with people (did they hear some sort of boomy voice in their heads? What was this all about?). I've tried to rationalize away what happened, but the quote I was given, or that I heard, or whatever happened, just didn't seem to be anywhere else. Its wording (and its meaning, at the time) was clear. "I have made you exactly as you are, and I have made you completely beautiful."

Love is one of the hardest things for me to accept--whether from God, from others, or even from myself. It's just uncomfortable to know that someone could love those parts of you that you've spent your whole life trying to change. I don't want people to love the dark, ugly, uncomfortable, and sinful within me. I want them to want me to change it. Some days, anyhow.

It's only been two years or so since then, though I can scarcely believe it myself. Lots of things have changed. Lots of things haven't. I've accepted some of those words given to me. I readily identify as gay. I'm reasonably comfortable talking about it to family, friends, people whose names I still can't remember, and even strangers. Love, though? I still can't accept that.

I've stopped counting the revelations. It's kind of an overly dramatic way to think about knowledge, anyhow, I think. I have to admit, though, I'm not entirely comfortable with everything. I think sometimes I still want to find better arguments against homosexuality within the Church because, somehow, then, if it were okay for the Church to hate me, it would be fine for me to hate myself.

I guess I'm saying that oppression doesn't just come from society. It can come from so many places--from news media, family, religion, or the worst place: from within. Personally, I have enough trouble not despising certain things about myself that I just don't have time to hear hateful or discriminatory things elsewhere. So I don't. Maybe that's why I feel like I've never been discriminated against--if I hate myself first, maybe others won't. Maybe I just won't notice it when and/or if they do.

That sounds pretty bleak, though. Life is good. I'm generally happy and I don't get self-hating all too often. I have amazing friends and a supportive family and community, even if the family isn't entirely comfortable talking about it. Coming out is, as they say, a continuous process, and not everyone is comfortable with it. Oh well, I guess. Why should I have to justify or argue about the way I am with people? I'm gay. I didn't have a choice in the matter. That's that, and this is me.

Every Gay Should Know #1: Maine's Question 1 Ad Campaign

[Ed. Note: Every Tuesday, we highlight an event, figure or tidbit of gay culture. Topics will range from the Stonewall Riots to Bea Arthur. Harvey Milk to the etymology of “fag.” Personally, just about all of these fall under “Everybody Should Know” for us. Bea included.]

On May 5, 2009, the Maine House of Representatives passed “An Act To End Discrimination in Civil Marriage and Affirm Religious Freedom” – a bill that would allow same-sex marriage in the state. The proposal had already been approved by the state Senate, and needed only to be signed by Governor John Baldacci in order to become law.

Baldacci signed the bill the next day, and the law was set to go into effect September 14, 2009.

Barring some sort of crazy intervention, of course.

Paperwork to launch a people's veto campaign was put in by Reverend Bob Emrich on May 7. Leading the opposition to gay rights would be the comically ironic "Stand For Marriage Maine," a Catholic Church-sponsored organization. The group hired the same public relations company that was successful in overturning gay-rights with Proposition 8 in California last November. With over the 55,087 signatures needed (almost double that, actually), Stand For Marriage succeeded in putting the issue to ballot on November 3, 2009 (the original Sept. 14 date was subsequently pushed back).

Ultimately, same-sex marriage was narrowly repealed in the state with a 52.8/47.2% split.

* * * * * * * * * *
No doubt the most angering facet of the Maine debate and subsequent election was the outcome. Proponents of gay rights were left overwhelmingly disappointed and surprised (figure 1) at the results.

figure 1: wtf?

However, perhaps just as mind-blowing were the tactics being used by Stand For Marriage Maine. Their ads would have been embarrassingly inaccurate and misleading if they weren't somehow effective. Most of their campaign revolved around the perception that somehow gay marriage (and voting "No" to Question 1: "Do you want to reject the new law that lets same-sex couples marry and allows individuals and religious groups to refuse to perform these marriages?") would lead to "homosexual marriage being pushed on Maine students." Because that is how sequitur arguments work.

Haha. I'd like to point out that the scare tactics being used here involve the words "Kissing and Hugging" next to "Gay Sex." It turns out that I've been having gay sex with several family members for years.

I would also like to invite everyone to post in the comments section what they think the scripted stage direction to Jen was at (0:22) in the second video.

But eek! That's what what was happening in Massachusetts after gay marriage was allowed four years ago? That sounds scary. I just hope that that NPR soundbite wasn't taken out of context.

(1:58) Tovia Smith: But many teachers say they're less afraid now since the high court decision legalizing gay marriage. Deb Allen teaches eighth-grade sex ed. in Brookline. She keeps a picture of her lesbian partner and their kids on her desk and gay equality signs wall. Allen says she's already been teaching a gay-friendly curriculum for nearly a decade, but she says she does begin this year feeling a bit more emboldened.

Deb Alen: In my mind, I know that, 'OK, this is legal now.' If somebody wants to challenge me, I'll say, 'Give me a break. It's legal now.'

Whoops, she was a sex education teacher. Right, forgot to mention that. We would not want to risk the passage of a gay-rights bill emboldening our sex education teachers to teach about sex. Or answer questions about sex. Guhroossssss!!!11 Asked by the state's Education Commissioner to evaluate the legitimacy of this fear, Maine Attorney General Janet Mills had this to say:

"I have scoured Maine laws relating to the education of its children for any references to marriage in the public school curricula," Mills wrote in her opinion. "I have found none."

This should end things, right? That sounds pretty definitive and convincing from an Attorney General. Obviously, the logical thing for Stand For Marriage to do is to apologize for the confusion when they completely made something up. As full-grown mature adults in positions of power, and not a group of petulant fourth graders, they believe in respectable discourse on the issues at hand.

Just kidding:

Ugh. This couple. The Worthlins? More like the Worstlins, am I right? It turns out that they conveniently moved into this Lexington district, fully knowing that there was already a pending lawsuit against the school for their anti-bias curriculum. They filed papers to join this suit a week after moving there.

Paul Ash, Lexington School District superintendent, told the [Bay Area Reporter] that the district had made several attempts to appease the Wirthlins and accommodate their religious convictions, but that he "came to the conclusion that they had no intent on settling. At the attempt to mediate prior to the case it was abundantly clear that the Wirthlins and Parkers had no intention of coming to a compromise, that they wanted a public fight. I only saw political campaigns and religious vigils. I never saw any evidence, not even a hint, that there was any intention on the part of these families to work out an agreement."

Holes in their facade of "unwitting victims" did not take long to appear. They were already members of MassResistance, which has been called an "anti-gay hate group" by the Southern Poverty Law Center. They're also related to the key political strategist for the Mormon Church in their efforts to destroy gay marriage, Dick (so perfect) Wirthlin. So yeah, I guess it is so weird that they would find themselves in this progressive school district (I do not guess it is so weird that they would find themselves in this progressive school district). The Wirthlins should team up with Richard and Mayumi Heene and go to Hoax School together.

To reiterate what I said before, though: as laughable and misleading as these ads are, they were ultimately successful. I hope that if you didn't before, you know now the sort of arguments and people that pro-rights activists are dealing with. Perhaps we should stoop to their level of outrageous, barely tangential statements: our angle will be that gay marriage can save the economy. Oh wait.