Come to the BDU Drag Show TONIGHT @ 7PM in the Duke Coffeehouse!!!! We have some amazing queens and kings... so come show your support!!!
[Ed. Note: This is going to be hands down the greatest thing you see all year.]
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Viviana Santiago, Part Two
Now that I’ve kept you in suspense for a week about the story of the giant banana, it’s only fair that I finish it. Viviana, a few friends, and I recently went to the North Carolina State Fair in Raleigh, NC. It is truly an experience that each Duke student should have...even if getting there via public transportation is a bit tiring.
It was while walking in awe through the fairgrounds, amidst the cotton candy, rides that will kill you, and fried Oreos, that Viviana spotted it…one of those rip-off fair games with larger than life prizes.
Fortunately for her, it was a gigantic fruit that she instantly fell in love with and had to have. After lending her $20 in pursuit of the prize, she finally won it, then almost got into a fight because she hit a girl with it. It was a stuffed disaster waiting to happen. Luckily, we made it out okay, and even the banana was unharmed. Just a day in the life with Vivz.
Ahem. Now onto serious business. Our dear stuffed-prize lover was born in Caracas, Venezuela but now lives in Gainesville, FL. Her all time favorite things ever are: Law and order, pigeons and penguins, Mean Girls, The Devils Highway, Party in the USA, Halloween and Diet Coke. All of us who go to BDU meetings regularly are privy to the infamous “Awkward Icebreakers,” which begin each of our sessions. I won’t give away the secrets to Viviana’s wonderfully absurd methods of calling order when we’re all speaking at once, but trust me they’re effective. As another teaser, they can involve: moustaches, trumpets, awkward turtles, and exceptionally awkward hand turkeys. You should come to our meetings, and meet other cool people.
One thing I think we’ve all noticed is Viviana’s rise to leadership. I know she is proud of herself for being a leader, and I would agree that she is a shining BDU president. Although she can be soft spoken, and definitely isn’t what one would consider a ‘typical student leader,’ her efforts this semester for our student group have been amazing.
She often speaks with pride of her mother, as well. She tells me about the new English words her mom is learning and employing in conversations. Her mother is also taking classes, has joined a bowling league, and volunteers at the public library. I don’t think talking about parents is trite and I think it’s important to watch how Viviana talks about her own. Clearly, she loves her mother and looks up to her and expresses pride in her mother’s ability to step outside her comfort zone. I know we’ve all seen Viviana do that herself and rise up to lead us in our programming this semester.
Viviana is a self-described 1.5 Latina. I encourage you to ask her yourself what that means to her. This identification has made her feel “in between” but makes it her goal to “[help] people feel like they belong … because [she] never really had a group.” The point of these Thursday bio blogs is not to just give profiles, but to push my readers to really get to know the individuals I feature. I bet you didn’t know that Viviana plays the flute and almost went to a music school before choosing Duke. I also bet you didn’t know that she’s writing a thesis on eco-feminism and spirituality. Ask her about it. Start conversations. There is more that connects us beyond the LGBT Center. We should all step outside our comfort zones and find out what makes other people get up in the morning.
Want your story featured? Would you like to help others see beyond the LGBTQA label? If you would like to volunteer yourself for me to conduct an interview with you, or would like to nominate another individual, please post a comment or contact me at summer.puente@duke.edu or spp12@duke.edu. Thank you!
Kentucky Same-Sex Marriage Ban To Be Brought Up for Repeal: Kentucky Equality Federation applauds legislation pre-filed by Representative Mary Lou Marzian (BR 93) to place the issue of same-sex marriage or civil unions back in the hands of Kentucky citizens.
If this passes both the Kentucky House and Senate and voters ratify it, lawmakers would then be able to legislate domestic-partnerships, or civil unions, such as the new domestic partnership law in the state of Washington."
Federal Judge Rules DOMA Violates Due Process in California Benefits Case: A federal judge today ordered compensation for a Los Angeles couple denied spousal benefits by the federal government because they are gay men. U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Stephen Reinhardt deemed the denial of healthcare and other benefits to the spouse of federal public defender Brad Levenson to be a violation of the Constitution's guarantee of due process and discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, which is prohibited by California state law.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Every Gay Should Know #2: Gay Media Pioneers Bert and Ernie
[Ed. Note: Every Tuesday, we highlight an event, figure or tidbit of gay culture. Topics will range from the Stonewall Riots to Bea Arthur. Harvey Milk to the etymology of “fag.” Personally, just about all of these fall under “Everybody Should Know” for us. Bea included. This week's EGSK is late, making me the first person on the staff to not meet a deadline. This is just the sort of thing I want my staff to see me doing.]Bert and Ernie are one of twelve Muppets that Jim Henson developed for the now 40 year-old television series Sesame Street. Though only briefly appearing in the pilot episode, the duo's segment tested best in focus groups and it became immediately apparent that the show should heavily feature them as stars. Bert and Ernie made their television debut on November 10, 1969.
They've been paving the way for homosexuals ever since.
That Bert and Ernie are in a long-term, committed gay relationship is proven and well known, or as Sesame Street's PR people put it, "Bert and Ernie... do not portray a gay couple, and there are no plans for them to do so in the future." Mere semantics.
Let's discuss the facts. These two "single" men are living together in an apartment on Sesame Street. Bert and Ernie sleep in separate twin beds, but these are located in the SAME ROOM. It is worth noting that not once has either complained about how small their mattresses are. Presumably, this is because the beds are arranged such that they can easily be pushed together to form a queen(s)-sized bed when the cameras stop rolling.
Even if these two guys are simply straight best friends that just haven't found the perfect woman, why are they spending all of their free time together? Fishing trips and vacations to Egypt? C'mon. Lovers.
Also, why would two heterosexual men choose to live together on Sesame Street of all places? Though we are never told just how to get to Sesame Street, we do know that it is somewhere in New York City. If you're on a non-numbered street in Manhattan and you see an establishment called The Furry Arms (a "hotel"), you're probably in The Village. Spend some time observing the indie guys who walk into the local thrift store Finders Keepers, and you'll see what I mean.
Sesame Street has exactly zero to offer straight men.
Say what they will, but writers haven't exactly kept Bert and Ernie's sketches free from [not-so-] subtleties. Is there no reason why there is an oil portrait of Bert and Ernie in their living room?
...and in their bedroom?
No, seriously, let's talk about this because this is bothering me and I think it's important. These are not photographs, nor are they pencil or chalk. These are PAINTED portraits. Using rates around my home in Patchogue, NY, this would have cost at least $2000 (I'm not even going to go into the fact that they're framed, too). So you mean to tell me that these two completely platonic heterosexual men spent over $2000 to have a portrait painted of them... and then commissioned ANOTHER for $2000 more? Sure. Normal guy stuff. The rest of the home decor doesn't exactly keep the two puppets closeted, either. So many lamps and armchairs! I'm also sure that most straight men don't even know what valances are let alone would think to feature them on their windows. Two breeder men living together would also not keep the apartment that clean. Let's be honest.
I truly don't know how this is ambiguous for some, especially those in the community. Even if one were to successfully refute all of the things I've mentioned above, the sheer abundance of bananas in Bert and Ernie skits should be enough to realize that they are meant to be gay men:
I propose we celebrate the presence of these openly (as far as those lace curtains and I are concerned) gay characters on our TV screens. Homosexuals were not exactly popular on basic cable at the time, but Bert and Ernie fabulously broke the heteronormative mold. I consider them wholly responsible for the success of Will & Grace and Kurt on Glee. They are the Jackie Robinsons of gays in mainstream media, and it should be recognized that as a result were made to endure the same intolerance and adversity as all other social pioneers. Said Rev. Joseph Chambers in one of his radio shows in 1994:
Bert and Ernie are two grown men sharing a house and a bedroom. They share clothes, eat and cook together and have blatantly effeminate characteristics. In one show Bert teaches Ernie how to sew. In another they tend plants together. If this isn't meant to represent a homosexual union, I can't imagine what it's supposed to represent.
I agree, but contextually he was making his case to have the characters banned. Haha, all kidding aside, if they've pissed off some right-wingers then we should be honoring them gay OR straight. Good for them.
Report: Homosexuality no factor in abusive priests: A preliminary report commissioned by the nation’s Roman Catholic bishops on the roots of the clergy sex abuse scandal found no evidence that gay priests are more likely than heterosexual clergy to molest children, the lead authors of the study said Tuesday.
The full report by researchers at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice won’t be completed until the end of next year. But the authors said that their evidence to date found no data indicating that homosexuality was a predictor of abuse.
Coming Out Story #2
[Ed. Note: Every Wednesday, we collect a coming out story and post it here, anonymously. They can be long or short, devastating or hilarious or boring or somewhere in between. The stories can be gathered in person or digitally - even using our "submit anonymously" link on the sidebar! If you'd like to send one in, email us at bluedevilsunited@gmail.com. If you don't feel like writing, we can meet in person, too, (ignore this PSA) and I'll transcribe your story here. Just let us know.]Am I a lesbian? Probably. Am I bisexual? Maybe. Queer? Perhaps. I never put an official title on my sexuality and still don’t really. All I know is that I’ve been crazy about members of the so-called fairer sex, ever since I was old enough to go crazy about anyone. But I didn’t really name my feelings.
The first time I ever got my sexuality labeled was in the eighth grade. Her name was Corinne (name changed, of course). I walked her back home after a movie and we sat on her porch and just talked for hours. I don’t even remember the conversation. Staring at her evenly glossed lips, I was floating too high up in the air to really listen to what they were saying. She had the most perfect part right in the middle of her hair and the cleanest fingernails I had ever seen. Once she caught me not paying attention and shook her head and said, “You’re such a homo.” She was just joking, but I never really thought about that word until just right then.
Then I started thinking about it a lot and when I was 17, I finally did something about it: I fell in love with a girl. Indisputable-loco-crazy-maudlin-mushy-I-can’t-breathe-without-you-and-I-write-you-poems-instead-of-doing-homework love. You might know what I mean. Well, if you do, then you know it’s impossible to keep that sort of thing to yourself.
Eventually, I came out to my friends. One by one. Again and again, I expected to face some kind of rejection or have someone change the way they acted around me. No one did. Human beings. They really surprise me on a daily basis.
I’m still not completely out to my family, which is why I’m keeping this anonymous. Sometimes, I feel like I’m living two lives: one with my family and one with everyone else. But let me just say that it was never my purposeful intention to deceive anyone. I just don’t think my parents and grandparents are ready for it yet. I’m not ready for it yet.
Sometimes, I think about all the girls I had a major crush on, but never had the courage to admit to myself. I suppose the hardest person to come out to is yourself. It took love for me to realize a part of myself that had always existed. It took love for me to finally muster the courage to go to the LGBT Center (one of the best decisions of my life). And it’ll take love for me to come out completely to my family. But the best part is that I know it exists. Love.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Lambda Legal brings 'equal (gay) pay for equal work' lawsuit against Arizona: "Under the leadership of Gov. Janet Napolitano, the Arizona state government in 2008 created a health insurance benefit for the domestic partners and children of state employees and retirees. This past September, the Arizona legislature stripped those benefits from state employees with now-Governor Jan Brewer's approval. Oh, but they made sure to retain spousal health benefits for heterosexual employees. Who do you think burdens the state budget more, the legions of heterosexual employees, or the handful of gay ones? Lambda Legal is suing."
Beyoncé and Lady Gaga "Video Phone" Music Video: The fruits of this epic collaboration have been revealed. Now the only question is, what do you think of the results?
Florida County Chooses 1st Openly Gay Mayor: FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. -- Broward commissioners on Tuesday chose the county's first openly gay mayor to replace Mayor Stacy Ritter, who is stepping down after a turbulent year at the top. Commissioners made history when they unanimously elected Ken Keechl as the county's new mayor. The selection of a new mayor was part of Broward's annual changing of the guard in county leadership.
Watch: Video
Outgoing Mayor Stacy Ritter delivered the annual State of the County address. She said the county is in good shape despite having to cut 1,300 jobs and $400 million from its budget. Keechl said "budget, budget, budget" will be at the top of his priority list as he takes office. "We've got to continue lowering taxes and streamlining government. That's what it's all about," Keechl said. "We've got a lot of challenges ahead of us. We've done a great job so far, but there's more that needs to be cut." When asked what message his being chosen as an openly gay mayor sends to the public, Keechl said, "I learned yesterday that I'm now the highest ranking openly gay mayor in the country. I didn't even know that. I've been an openly gay man for years, as a lawyer, as a businessman and as a county commissioner. Basically, it just means that I'm no different than anybody else."
Georgia High School Teacher Arrested for Putting 'Hit' on Student After Asking Teen if He Was Gay: Police have arrested Randolph Forde, a teacher at Mundy's Mill High School in Jonesboro, Georgia for allegedly putting a "hit" on a student after an incident in which he asked the student if he was gay.
Observations from the Trenches in Maine: Thoughts on the loss of marriage equality in Maine by "No on 1" campaign manager Jesse Connolly.
Anti-Gay Attacks Planned Against Houston Mayoral Candidate Annise Parker: 'The bottom line is that we didn't pick the battle, she did, when she made her agenda and sexual preference a central part of her campaign,' said Dave Welch, executive director of the Houston Area Pastor Council, numbering more than 200 senior pastors in the Greater Houston area. ... Parker, however, has not made these issues a central part of her campaign: "Parker has tread carefully in her candidacy for mayor, stressing frequently that she is running not as a gay candidate but as a qualified city official who's won election six times."
[UPDATE] Arrest Made In Puerto Rico Gay Teen Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado Murder Case: A man was arrested in the early morning hours today in Cayey suspect in the murder of George Steven Lopez Mercado, the 19-year-old was brutally decapitated, dismembered and partially burned in an apparent hate crime for homophobia.
"'The FBI is monitoring this investigation with the Police of Puerto Rico because there are federal statutes under the laws of civil rights violations covered by hate crimes,' Rodriguez said early in reference to the newly adopted Law for Preventing Hate Crimes signed in October that President Barack Obama."
This Is What Happens When You Switch Your Major From Engineering To Linguistics…
I have recently decided to change my major from Biomedical engineering to a double major in Linguistics and Neuroscience. Excited to actually study something that I find enjoyable, I have been spending every minute of my day procrastinating by trying to memorize what Wikipedia has to say about linguistics and neuroscience. Also I have been reading and have finished In the Land of Invented Languages: Esperanto Rock Stars, Klingon Poets, Loglan Lovers, and the Mad Dreamers Who Tried to Build A Perfect Language by Arika Okrent. An astoundingly interesting book and a must read for anyone with a slight flair for language. My further meanderings into procrastination led me to attend UNC Chapel Hill’s LGBT student group’s meeting last Thursday where the topic was Trans 101 (I have to express my dearest apologies for I have forgotten the presenters surname, first name is Mandy). After which I felt that using gendered pronouns was now akin to hate crimes.Yet instead of being inspired to fight for and rally for LGBT equality with civil disobedient vigor, I couldn’t help wondering that explicitly asking if one preferred male or female pronouns was a bit long-winded. Then a small voice inside my head uttered "the neuter case!" (which is common in the other Germanic languages). We would simply need to turn back the clock to old English where there was a plethora of pronouns. So just as we might say the gendered 'he' or 'her' we would say neutered 'hit.' We could even introduce different new and artificial pronouns for gender identity and expression; as well as transitions and intersexes and so on. There by mapping the English language to the current need for equality and representation.
Though ultimately this would not bring about equality though language, like Ludwik Łazarz Zamenhof hoped to do with his Esperanto, but it would make the tool that is language more, in a way, ergonomic. Yet such an overhaul is simply a flight of fancy; I do not expect nor actively entertain the idea that grammarians could be the new LGBT activists though I will certainly be a linguist of the movement. So now I leave you dear reader to write your next rally speech in old English.
PDgAy? Fine with Me
Oh look! They're holding hands; let's stare at them.A typical high school hallway of giddy, giggling girls? Not quite. This is what many couples face every day of their lives, long after they've emptied their lockers. And before this semester, a level of conspicuousness to which I had yet been exposed…
“Do you wanna dance?”
A simple enough question, but for one of few out students on campus, one packed with consequences. It was nine o’clock on a Friday night in early September, and a large crowd had gathered outside the Chapel for Salsa on the Steps. Gorged with dinner from Bali Hai, I was ready to dance my butt off. Or so I thought. But to be perfectly honest, I was quite terrified. Outside the safety of Vespa or Thrive (if you keep an eye on your drink), I wasn’t sure how ready I was display my sexuality for everyone to see, both friend and stranger alike.
But I took his hand. And we started dancing. And… nothing happened. No thunder from the sky, no gasps of abhorred shock. Someone from the event started taking pictures, but despite the initial racing of my heart, I didn’t mind it that much. As I left the event my mind kept drifting back to that moment, a moment that I recognized as a step forward in my coming out process. And as the week wore on, I grew more and more daring in expressing and affirming myself: holding hands, cuddling on the quad, kissing. Yes, kissing.
This is the part where I could either write a gumdrop fairy tale of how surprisingly accepting the campus can be of LGBT couples, or tear down an uplifting story with harsh realities of glares, scoffs, and feelings of scrutiny under a microscope that is Duke social life. The truth is, both scenarios exist. We’re only as open as we show ourselves to be, and we all come from different walks of life (ulgh, literary clichés). For some, that means finding a welcoming environment; for others, a bitter de-masking of false pretenses. As far as I’m concerned, the responsibility lies in the individual. You ultimately decide what world you want to live in, and your inaction can speak just as loudly as what you do decide to instigate. For me, that meant taking a risk, hoping I wouldn’t become a pariah by shoving my “homo agenda” in everyone’s face. And don’t I have that right? Don’t we all reserve the right to express our love freely without judgment from others—or, in a more practical state of mind, without too much vocal judgment from others? I believe so, and I hope you do to.
So don’t be afraid. Take the next step. Then another. And another. Soon, you’ll find we’re all marching in support with you.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Melody Barnes's Semi-Endorsement Of Gay Marriage Causes Discomfort In White House: "...when one of Obama's top advisers, Melody Barnes, suggested that she personally supported gay marriage before a crowd at Boston College last week, it could have been a minor story. But it became a bigger one when the White House press office responded defensively, first insisting that no such support for gay marriage had been offered and then not signing off on the release of the video of Barnes's appearance until the dead-news hours of Friday afternoon."
Gay Teen Decapitated, Dismembered and Burned in Puerto Rico: On November 14 the body of a gay 19 year old was found a few miles away from the town in which he was residing in called Caguas. He was a very well known person in the gay community of Puerto Rico, and very loved. He was found on the site of an isolated road in the city of Cayey, he was partially burned, decapitated, and dismembered, both arms, both legs, and the torso.
* * *
This is just horrific. But all the same, it deserves to be acknowledged. As does the reaction of the authorities: "The police agent that is handling this case said on a public televised statement that 'people who lead this type of lifestyle need to be aware that this will happen'.
*Update*: Writers at AmeriBlog have created a petition to urge the Department of Justice to have the FBI investigate this case as a violation of our newly won federal hate crimes legislation. To sign the petition, go here.
The Effectiveness of Having Principles
This Saturday, Equality NC held its third annual Equality Conference at UNC Greensboro, an event which I attended along with a small group of Duke students. Of the sessions that I attended (and taking into account my exhaustion that day...oh lord, the stories...), one of the more interesting panels was a discussion of the Dallas Principles by some of its authors, Pam Spalding, Mandy Carter, and Jimmy Creech. For those of you who are not aware of what the Dallas Principles are, in short they are a list of goals, guiding principles, and a call to action for the LGBT rights movement, drafted by leaders in the movement in May of 2009. The crux of this document was the urgency and impatience of some in the LGBT rights movement, the sense that our rights must be won now, that you are either with us or against us, that our allies in government will only be counted as our allies if they actively work to help us attain our rights, and that the pussyfooting of this administration around working for full equality for the LGBT community will no longer be tolerated.But what does this actually mean? What difference can the Dallas Principles really make? While these might have been created by the minds of many of this movement's leaders, unless these demands and goals are incorporated into the language of the larger movement, their effects seem to be minimal. And along the lines of embracing these goals, there is certainly still contention as to whether or not these principles really encompass the best path forward for the movement right now. One of the more immediate arguments confronts the demand of the authors of the Dallas Principles that change happen now. For some, this might appear to be a dangerous or reckless approach that would cut off more gradual methods of gaining rights (although the panel addressed this in their response to a similar question, clarifying that the principles were not meant to negate the organic evolution and calculated strategy of the movement). This issue is being grappled with throughout the movement. For example, a couple months ago Equality organizations in California voted on whether or not they would work toward repealing Proposition 8 in 2010 or wait until 2012. While some argued that we cannot wait, that marriage equality must be taken back now, that we need to use the momentum we have instead of running the risk of it fizzling out, others contended that we need more time to educate our neighbors and develop a more concrete foundation for winning this fight against Prop 8 at the ballot.
In addition to questions concerning the validity of the Principles themselves, a debate in which I personally fall on the side of largely agreeing with the goals and principles set forth, one of the greatest challenges for the propagation of these ideas is the ability of its authors and supporters to make these goals an integral part of the movement and how the movement functions. While the panel on the Dallas Principles at the Equality NC 2009 Equality Conference might have been informative for those that chose to go to it, what assurance is there that these participants will be willing to, or even have any interest in, spreading their new-found understanding? For that matter, what assurance is there that participants at any of the panels, or other events like the Conference, will propagate their knowledge to their peers?
There isn't any.
Like any other grassroots idea, the Dallas Principles rely on the willingness of the individual to first be educated and then be the educator. Unlike other movements that might be able to infect the minds of hundreds of thousands of followers with the ideas of a few men (cough* conservative republicans*), the movement for LGBT equality is rife with the opinions and ideas of many individually minded people working toward common goals, with different notions of how these goals might be reached. As such, it is important for us, as individuals, to evaluate each idea, each method proposed, critically and thoroughly in order to determine whether or not the suggestion conforms to our own understanding of the goals of our movement. It is our responsibility to be aware and to educate ourselves and those around us.
Anonymous Posts(11.9.09–11.15.09)
Every week, we collect anonymous entries sent in using the link on our sidebar and post them all on Monday. We post anything as long as it doesn't contain personal attacks or hate speech. Feel free to submit your thoughts and questions :)#1:
Every time I log in to Facebook, this kid has a new status up. There's something about each one he posts that catches my attention. Either one of his friends has changed it without his knowledge so that it reads "_____ loves dick" and his friends join in with equally ignorant comments, or he's gone back and changed his status to say that the person who wrote the previous status "actually loves dick," or his friends have tried to insult a poetic or emotional status by simply writing "fag." under it. I truly do not understand these people. I am offended. What would you guys do in this situation?
Every time I log in to Facebook, this kid has a new status up. There's something about each one he posts that catches my attention. Either one of his friends has changed it without his knowledge so that it reads "_____ loves dick" and his friends join in with equally ignorant comments, or he's gone back and changed his status to say that the person who wrote the previous status "actually loves dick," or his friends have tried to insult a poetic or emotional status by simply writing "fag." under it. I truly do not understand these people. I am offended. What would you guys do in this situation?
#2:
Anonymous message to BDU, from an outsider:
Dear BDU,
I really appreciate everything you do to increase visibility of the gay community at Duke. Please know that there are more of us than just meets the eye. I am a 110% lesbian student here at Duke, although my looks and actions would never indicate my status as a minority sexuality. Yet although I lack the courage that you all have to come out, I am still very grateful for the way you promote gay rights and visibility on campus (and elsewhere), via activism and your programming. I am slowly taking small steps to coming out, and it's a hard process, (I know I'm preaching to the choir with that one), but I think that having this blog with a daily post to read-and perhaps relate to and even connect with-will be just one more beneficial push in the right direction: outside of the closet.
Thank you for this new blog and all of your work,
- A gay female undergrad sophomore at Duke
[Ed. Note: This last post made us feel all fuzzy inside, thanks for your kind words!]
Anonymous message to BDU, from an outsider:
Dear BDU,
I really appreciate everything you do to increase visibility of the gay community at Duke. Please know that there are more of us than just meets the eye. I am a 110% lesbian student here at Duke, although my looks and actions would never indicate my status as a minority sexuality. Yet although I lack the courage that you all have to come out, I am still very grateful for the way you promote gay rights and visibility on campus (and elsewhere), via activism and your programming. I am slowly taking small steps to coming out, and it's a hard process, (I know I'm preaching to the choir with that one), but I think that having this blog with a daily post to read-and perhaps relate to and even connect with-will be just one more beneficial push in the right direction: outside of the closet.
Thank you for this new blog and all of your work,
- A gay female undergrad sophomore at Duke
[Ed. Note: This last post made us feel all fuzzy inside, thanks for your kind words!]
Argentine judge opens the door to marriage equality: Judge Gabriela Seijas ordered the civil registry to make official the marriage of Alejandro Freyre, 39, and Jose Maria Di Bello, 41, who had been denied their request because they were both men. It could increase pressure for lawmakers to take up a stalled gay marriage bill in Congress. The government of the City of Buenos Aires said it would not appeal a ruling that would pave the way for same-sex marriages in the capital.
Friday, November 13, 2009
RI gov reconsiders gay civil rights: Thanks to a meeting with gay activists, Rhode Island Gov. Carcieri now says he’s open to a domestic partnership bill – just two days after vetoing a bill which would have given domestic partners the right to make funeral arrangements.
Every Duke Gay Should Know #1: 2007 Addition of "Gender Identity" to Duke's Non-Discrimination Policy
In 2005, Duke University's LGBT Task Force formed a committee to research and advocate for the extension of the university's nondiscrimination policy to transgender individuals. The committee examined policies favored by other states, corporation, and peer institutions, such as Yale, Harvard, Stanford, and Princeton. After ten months of research, it issued a report, recommending that the university protect transgender members of the university community from discrimination based on "gender identity or expression." In February 2007, the board of trustees approved an update to Duke's statement of equal opportunity that included the words "gender identity." It also voted to change the wording of the section covering LGBT individuals to refer to "sexual orientation" rather than "sexual orientation or preference," to reflect the evolution in the ways that sexual orientation is understood.Sounds great on paper, right? Fast forward to August 30, 2007, when a parent's complaints resulted in the eventual relocation of a transgender student from a West Campus dorm to an off campus apartment.
So I ask myself, how far is our university willing to go to protect a transgender student? Is it really just an advocate until the threat of a lawsuit arises? What does the fact that it took three years for the inclusion of "gender identity" to be voted on by trustees say about our university's willingness to pioneer the way for LGBT student rights? What does our administation's response to the transgender student's housing situation only months after the nondiscrimination policy was officially changed say about the weight of this commitment to equal rights?
Two years later, as we look ahead to the construction of a new dorm wing on West Campus, with no administrative mention of active measures being taken to ensure that the new housing options will accomodate transgender students...how much has really changed?
Friday Night
19 yr old wht duke student, 6’3”, 200lbs. brown/green, ddf, athletic. hwp plz, only looking for ppl around my age, if u cld be my dad I wont reply. i can host, or go to urs. hit me up if you’re looking for nsa fun, ur pics get mine.Every night countless personals like the above go up on what I like to call the ‘Core Four’ of dating websites - Craigslist, Manhunt, Adam4Adam and Gaydar. Just like the sororities except with fewer champagne breakfasts, but just as many secret rituals. There’s not a lot of originality to be found in these ads. You’re either gl or vgl (good looking or very good looking, vvgl would be shameless). The number of body physiques isn’t particularly diverse either - you can either be athletic or have a swimmer’s body. And God help you if you aren’t hwp (height-weight proportional). Unsurprisingly, everyone’s looking for the same thing - nsa (no strings attached) fun. Exactly what is meant by fun can vary wildly. (I’ve found that it’s usually safe to assume that it’s not an offer to gift livestock in FarmVille though). In fact, the only real chance at artistic expression is how much you want to expose on camera - a tasteful nipple, navel, or perhaps the entire nether-region?
Of course it’s very easy to sit back and mock these types of personals, and the faces behind them. And to do so is hypocritical of me - I used these sites for years. But it really begs the question - why do so many college age gay and bisexual men (and I recognize women do too, though the number is much smaller), even those who are out, seek out ‘fun’ on these websites?
For those in the closet, the answer is relatively simple - the internet offers an anonymous outlet for their sexual desires - the 21st century equivalent of a public cruising spot (or the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport if you're a Republican politician). It’s a little more complex for those out of the closet. Even though it’s not their only available avenue for meeting other gay and bisexual men, out guys are still prolific on these websites. I think the real reason is more than just gay men being somehow inherently more promiscuous than the general population.
Focusing specifically on campus, I suspect it stems partly from Duke’s lack of a real dating culture. In lieu of this, people turn to what will give them quick gratification - even if it is devoid of intimacy. The heterosexual community has Shooters for random hookups, while the gays have Craigslist. You don’t need to frequent either to hook up with someone at Duke - but they’re probably the most rapid ways of doing so. So it’s really not that surprising that so many out gay and bisexual men use personals as a quick way to get off - especially considering hectic college lives. In fact, glancing through Craigslist will show that many Dukies are taking multitasking to the extreme, arranging hookups in Wilson Gym or Perkins Library.
My hope is that eventually we’ll progress to the point where we live in a community where Craigslist and all the other sites have largely outlived their purpose. So how do we get there? To be honest I'm not really sure, though I can think of a number of ways that would improve the situation. First would be to acknowledge the issue, instead of sweeping it under the rug. Without dialog and discussion on this taboo issue, little progress can be made in tackling it. Second would be to address students' sense of identity and self-worth through various programming, which is of course what the LGBT center already seeks to do. Coupled with a gradually improving campus environment towards LGBT individuals, this would ideally lead to a Duke where students feel more secure in themselves, and less inclined to seek out random gratification.
In the end, random hookups, while immediately gratifying, are usually superficial, and I think the general well-being of the community would greatly improved with dating and relationship cultures that are more open. The pace of change definitely isn't rapid, but I do think that we're moving towards a healthier, more organic environment in this regard.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
A boy and his flag--Why Will won't pledge: Will Phillips isn't like other boys his age. For one thing, he's smart. Scary smart. This Arkansas 10-year-old's refusal to say the pledge of allegiance is, according to him, because "I really don't feel that there's currently liberty and justice for all." His protest is over the rights of gays and lesbians.
"Oh Hell No! Grrl, hold my earrings."
I wear earrings. Not studs. Not diamonds. Earrings. Big gold hoops, loud peacock feathers, pearls, the stuff you see hanging from the ears of prostitutes and high-fashion models (or at least that’s what I channel when I wear them). They are flashy, gaudy and, in a word, extra. Do I wear them for attention? Maybe. But do I genuinely believe that they are hot and that I look fierce as hell in them? Hell yea. They are how I want to present myself to the world. However, they are not how many in the world believe I should present myself. I get the most glaring of stares from many people on campus.I never understand this. If, as a society, we are so attached to gender roles why would we cast out the gay individual who identifies with a non-normative gender? In an odd way, that almost completes the circle and normalizes the individual. I am attracted to men. I have a gender expression that is largely feminine. That is fairly normative within the crazy bounds that society is enforcing. While I find this intriguing, I am simply stating an observation and not making an argument for the normalization of non-normative sexualities and gender expressions as long as they still uphold traditional male and female roles. I personally believe that gender and sexuality are not linked in any way and that both are fluid and do not fit into any kind of binary. I sense that the general public is beginning to grasp an understanding of sexuality outside of the binary that we have created and to not believe that one sexuality is more "natural" than others. Yet gender is still seen as a largely biological category. That it is not. Gender is a performance, and I for one am no back-up dancer who is relegated to the standard role.
Everyone on campus knows I’m gay. I am very vocal about it and anyone who’s talked to me knows that my gay identity is central to my personhood. While I do hear disparaging remarks and slurs directed at me on a fairly regular basis, they are usually unoriginal and uninspired and I simply brush them off. However, the attacks I receive about my gender expression are much more extreme. These are difficult to ignore. These are the ones that make me lose sleep at night. These are the ones that make me second guess myself in the mirror every morning, pondering whether or not to “butch” up my image.
When it reaches that point of the day that I have had enough of the stares and the snickers and I am seconds from calling out the person on the C-1 for giving me their stank face, the sorority girl turns to me and goes “cute earrings, where did you get them?” Then I talk to the cashier at Chick-Fil-A who compliments me on my new pair and we have a short conversation about fashion and shopping. At the end of the day many people see me as the raging homosexual who is deviant from the natural laws of the penis that define the boundaries of my masculinity. However, there are also many who see me as a trend-setting genderqueer with a social message to bring to the Duke community. It is these conversations that come out of the most unlikely of situations that reassure that progress is being made and that despite all of the negativity in the world, we can construct communities of positivity and love.
“Summer, I need the giant banana. I need it.”
So who goes to the LGBT Center anyway? Have you ever been there? Do you want to go, but are scared? It’s ok, I was scared too. My first few times were terrifying. I clung to Chris Purcell, the Program Coordinator, because I didn’t know anyone else. Now I go there all the time.Sure, sometimes it’s empty and eerily quiet in the morning hours, but as the day passes several people stop in to check their e-mail, try to do homework, eat, and hang out. In all honesty, it’s my haven and there’s no other place I prefer on campus. I keep to myself quite a bit, but the Center is a safe space where I don’t have to worry about anything but being a twenty-year-old Duke student who’s procrastinating just like everyone else.
My Thursday blog entries are developed from interviews I am in the process of conducting and friendships I continue to form through interactions in and out of the center. I want to put a face to our strongest allies. I want to put a story to those LGBTQ-identified students/faculty/staff who remain passionate in their dedication to whatever gets them up in the morning. I will present these tenacious individuals, who do their part in making Duke’s campus a more accepting place, not just a tolerant one, first through their devotion to LGBTQA issues. The following week, I will highlight the other components of their lives that make them who they are and the paths they’ve followed to get here, to show the multidimensionality of our community members.
Welcome to part one of my first
There are few people at Duke who make me feel genuine happiness like she does. Perhaps it is her unyielding devotion to Peg, the LGBT Center’s Staff Specialist, or perhaps it is her pet cacti and unmatched sense of humor. She is someone I admire and someone who I look for to change a bad day around. Today and next Thursday’s blog entries will be devoted to her.
It is my pleasure to introduce you to Viviana Santiago. Come back next week to learn more about the giant banana.
Aside from her amazing collection of Facebook profile pictures, you should know Viviana because she is the president of Blue Devils United, and quite easily one of the most hilarious people I know. Her leadership this year has brought our undergraduate student group closer together and amused in meetings with her quirky attitude. It is sitting in these meetings, as Viviana tries to use noisemakers to call order and attention, that I feel most connected with our community. She is also part of the Center student staff, and part of her duties place her in charge of planning for the Women Loving Women group.
And this is what Viviana has to say about the Center: “I like the people that come in and work there, they’re funny and have a different perspective that you can’t find anywhere else on campus.” But she also notes some changes she’d like to see, “I wish more people came, and a more diverse group of students on campus would come. I know there are some students who would never come. I wish the president would come visit.” She especially hopes that there would be more Duke women who felt more comfortable being visible and in joining the community.
Coming Out Day is her favorite LGBT event on campus because it reminds people that the community is not invisible and it truly gives allies a chance to show their support. Many who we never see at the Center come out to support our cause.
Now, I have a few more personal comments to make about Viviana, so excuse the sentimentality if that isn’t your cup of tea. I first met Viviana in a House Course she co-taught called Latinos in Durham in the spring of my freshman year. She was incredibly quiet. I’d say we’ve only been friends a short while, but her presence in my life in and out of the Center has already produced a ton of amazing memories. I’d like to share more of my stories about this amazing woman, so please come back next week for the continuation of this article to learn more about her giant banana adventure, her Latina identity, and more.
And this is what Viviana has to say about the Center: “I like the people that come in and work there, they’re funny and have a different perspective that you can’t find anywhere else on campus.” But she also notes some changes she’d like to see, “I wish more people came, and a more diverse group of students on campus would come. I know there are some students who would never come. I wish the president would come visit.” She especially hopes that there would be more Duke women who felt more comfortable being visible and in joining the community.
Coming Out Day is her favorite LGBT event on campus because it reminds people that the community is not invisible and it truly gives allies a chance to show their support. Many who we never see at the Center come out to support our cause.
Now, I have a few more personal comments to make about Viviana, so excuse the sentimentality if that isn’t your cup of tea. I first met Viviana in a House Course she co-taught called Latinos in Durham in the spring of my freshman year. She was incredibly quiet. I’d say we’ve only been friends a short while, but her presence in my life in and out of the Center has already produced a ton of amazing memories. I’d like to share more of my stories about this amazing woman, so please come back next week for the continuation of this article to learn more about her giant banana adventure, her Latina identity, and more.
Catholic Church Threatens To Stop D.C. Services For Needy If Gay Marriage Passes: The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn't change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.
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